Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Quickie - "Go right ahead there, mom!"

A quickie today, sorry - there's no picture.  And before you ask, I'm NOT writing about something that occurred with my mother during our morning visit.

Today, I was "lil ol' androgynous me" and wearing women's white shorts, short sleeve navy blue polo top, with my white sandals, and no makeup or jewelry (other than my necklace.)  On my way back from the nursing home I stopped at the locksmith's to pick up a new garage door lockset.  There the clerk omitted any gender-specific forms of address, and I noticed a faded old article under the glass countertop about one of the employees wearing pink nail polish for a charity event.  Hmmm.  Hadn't noticed that before.   But I don't think anyone there is trans...

From the locksmith, it was off to the post office.  As I walked up the ramp, a 40something man ahead of me held the door open for a family (two kids and their mother) as they walked out...and then looked directly at me and said "You  too, dear...  Go right ahead there, mom!"   Wow...another first.  It could be entirely accidental, but it could also be the first time I've ever heard someone "miss-identify" me as a pregnant woman.  That's quite remarkable, but unintended.

Not that I mind, of course...and I shouldn't have any trouble finding a seat on public transportation!  But I guess I'd better figure out some answers to typical questions about my "pregnancy",  so I can answer questions from other women "believably" and without stuttering or sputtering.  Let's see - I'm maybe 4 months along, baby due in January...hoping for a little girl...and so on....

Or better yet, lose weight...which is much easier said than done!  I've been trying - unsuccessfully.




  1. I doubt that the gentleman thought you were pregnant. To me, based in part on my upbringing, calling any older woman 'mom' or 'mamma' or something of that nature is a sign of respect. It was common for younger people to call their elders mom or pop. It was a sign that they had done well in life, had see to the advancement of the family and had achieved the right to that honorific.
    If I were you I would take the comment as a pure sign of respect and dignity and as the ultimate confirmation of your femme aura.

    1. My past didn't include the experiences you relay...my mother was always "Mom" or on occasion, "Mommy" and other females were "Mrs. XXX" or "Ma'am." However, what you say makes complete sense, and may be different in various geographic locations, particularly out here on the Delmarva.

      I'll take your suggestion that the man was being polite, that it was a sign of respect, and confirmation of my femininity, not a hint that I look pregnant.

      However, the reality is that I do have a bit of a tummy. If I'm not minding my posture (and being in androgynous mode, my concentration may lapse at times) I can honestly say it can be seen, even under my polo shirts (which mostly cover it nicely.)

      In short, I probably ought to be more careful to mind my posture, even in androgynous mode, just to be on the safe side.


  2. As the grandsone of 4 Italian immigrants there is no greater honor for a woman to be called mom or mamma. Sometimes it would be for the senior matriach at any event but at large gatherings there could be a slew of women blessed with the title.

    As to being overweight. I put 40 pounds on my already large frame 4 years ago when I quit smoking so I now quip that I carry around a small third grader in my belly.

    1. Well, then, I believe I can be honored by this particular "miss-identification!" Everyone continues to learn something, almost every day...

      I saw something on line yesterday that says weight problems may have something to do with a newly-discovered gene, and not just "too little exercise combined with too many burgers, fries and milkshakes." That would be good news for some of us...and may eventually result in help with our weight issues.

      Keep your fingers crossed...