Happy Summer to each of my readers in the northern hemisphere!
When I got home from my "vacation" a while back, there were three blouses and two skirts in my suitcase which had been worn several times, and they needed refreshed. My wife doesn't know they're mine (instead of my mother's), and she does the laundry, so I can't very well ask her to wash them. Nor can I run the washer and dryer myself, without her becoming suspicious. The local cleaner I used previously quoted me $6 each for women's garments, up from $5 a while back. Other than suing the cleaner for discrimination (not practical for me at this time - and my wife wouldn't stir that pot herself) or heading to the laundromat to wash them myself (time-consuming), it was a case of "Oh my, what to do?"
My "new" outfit (shown below) isn't really new. The blouse has been in the bottom of my "sleeveless top" drawer for about three years, seldom worn, but known by my wife. When new, I put it on for a day out with her. She rebelled, saying it was too feminine, particularly with shorts or capris and pantyhose, and I had to change to keep the peace.
Since coming home from vacation, I tried it again, this time to counter the very hot weather. And surprise! It's no longer a problem to wear out and about, alone or with my wife, even with shorts, pantyhose, flats and my mother's necklace. Lack of a comment was a major surprise. Seems that the "envelope" may just have expanded a bit.
I actually have two of these henley sleeveless tops, the one shown and also one in red. They're super comfortable in hot weather, and have a lovely open neckline, perfect for both getting a better tan and wearing necklaces.
They really seems to help further my feminine image - at least it worked that way, like magic, at Kohl's Friday. I was in the checkout line with my wife, who was being helped by the clerk. Another clerk walked up and asked me: "May I help you, Ma'am?" My response: "No thanks, I'm fine." So she took the next person in line, just as she should. But I got absolutely no strange looks (you know, that "a-HA, the light just went on" syndrome) from her...so the outfit must be fine, particularly with the above-the-knee hemline of my shorts.
These blouses are going to get a lot more wear this summer than in years past. Of that you can be sure!
So, the next day I attended a neighborhood event 'solo', wearing the red top with tan shorts, purse, pantyhose and flats, and my name tag with my (now used by females) given name. People we know addressed me by my first name, thus inadvertently helping to disguise my gender. One of the female residents (whom I didn't know) asked if I had a small knife in my purse that she could borrow. Yes, I replied, and lent it to her. She wanted to open a family heirloom locket. I unilaterally declined to attempt doing it, for fear I might scratch the finish. "Oh, that's OK, Ma'am. I'll have one of the men do it for me." So she did, and a man opened it for her. She returned the knife to me, with many thanks... I guess I've achieved female status with her, and as a result, have lost a smidgen of that "male privilege" I formerly had... Maybe so, but it was fun!
Here's another picture from the Avila Adobe in Los Angeles. While very few passers-by were seen in my photos, everyone was most accommodating, to not "get in the way." So the place was not deserted, as you might imagine it was from looking at the pictures.
Another excursion-related musing; following is a view (i.e. framed in the "teardrop" corner dome window) that is only possible to see from a Heritage dome car. (This one was taken departing Chicago.) There are no such windows on Superliner "sightseer lounge" cars, and views to the rear of the train (typically through end door coach windows) are often cloudy from accumulated dirt. (Car washing machines don't clean those!) So this is a real treat!
After several days wandering around the house in the pink dress shown in my previous blog "Couldn't believe it," my wife apparently decided I shouldn't be wearing it. and told me to put something else on. So I did...one of my usual house dresses, resulting in a "that's better" comment. Not sure why it's better - they're both dresses, and they both cover "that which must be covered." I'm truly not sure about why the long-delayed reaction. Since nothing was said about "not wearing it while sunbathing", next time I'll try wearing it again... It probably will fly. But no promises...
Moral of that story: If something seems too good to be true, it probably isn't (true)...
Lastly...I was out thrift-shopping yesterday, but couldn't find any skirts with elastic waists. All of them were fixed waists, without belt loops. That normally doesn't work well for me. I found, but didn't buy, a blouse that looked nice, but was a bit too short. And I also found, but didn't buy, a pair of peep toe sling-back wedges. They fit...and looked nice.
If they are still there next time I go in, I may buy the shoes...they feel more wearable than my regular heels. And if I could be wearing the skirt I want to wear the blouse with, I may even be able to reconsider buying the blouse!
Mandy
I fully understand the slow evolution of wifely acceptance of our dressing. While my wife knows that I have a significant wardrobe of dresses, skirts, shoes and undies and that I am almost alway wearing panties and pantyhose and sometimes a bra I do think that there is a component of "Don't ask, Don't tell". There are parts of my wardrobe that she has never seen and other femme related activities that I think she would just as soon pretend did not exist.
ReplyDeleteOne example is that, as you know, we have a small house down the shore where she spends a lot of her time. I continue to work and while I spend what time I can down the shore I do spend several nights a week at our condo up and hour north of NYC. When we are apart we talk every night. Many nights, as soon as I get home, I will shower, shave and put on a bra, forms, slip, dress, hose and heels. When talking with someone on the phone the natural inclination is to picture in your mind's eye the person you are talking to, where they are sitting or standing, what they look like, what they may be wearing, etc. We have our typical husband and wife conversations and I wonder if she is picturing what I may be wearing. Sometimes I will walk across the tile kitchen floor and wonder if she picks up the sound of the clacking heels. Sometimes I will be sitting there with my stocking clad leg dangling a heel. I find the practice amusing. She has never asked what I was wearing. I suspect it is better that way.
At this point, when we are together, I suspect that she would think it odd if I did not wear a night gown for sleeping.
Pat
When I'm away, or when my wife's visiting her sister, we talk every night as well (except when one of us is on a train...then it's a call upon departure and arrival, before the cell signal disappears.) She never asks what I'm wearing, probably never will. Some things are best left unsaid!
DeleteBTW I still can't wear my 3" heels around the house. Unless I walk on my toes, they leave depressions in our linoleum and marks on the hardwood. She definitely would notice them. Maybe if I lost 50 or 60 pounds it wouldn't happen....but the last time I weighed that little (in the '70's), everyone told me that I looked like I was sick...LOL! So I'll settle for losing 10-15 pounds. (Someday...)
Mandy
My wife pays the bills and she is very good about reviewing all invoices, particularly the credit card statements.
ReplyDeleteThe other day after going over the credit card bill she quipped that she noted a $50+ bill from the supermarket and that she guessed that meant that I made a batch of sauce, meatballs and sausage. I quipped back that living with her was like living with Scotland Yard in that she is like a one person investigation team and that nothing I do ever gets past her watchful eye.
What was 'unstated' is that whenever I make a sauce I use 3+ lbs of chopped beef and 2-3 lbs of sausage so the ingredients alone, along with a supply of pasta, cheese, etc. tends to run up a grocery tab. What was also unstated is that she knows that whenever I cook I do so while fully dressed. In cooler weather I often take a weekend afternoon and go the full nine yards with complete makeup, wig, etc. In warmer weather I will sometimes forgo the makeup and wig but she was completely correct to assume that my culinary adventure involved hose, heels, dress, etc. and her ironic smile was all that was needed for me to know that she knew that I did my cooking while dressed.
Pat
Oh my, that must be fun! No doubt she knew....
DeleteIf all goes well, while my wife is visiting her sister, I'll get to spend some Mandy time. Good thing we just talk on the phone, not skype!
Mandy