Another antique show...Day One

Recently I attended an autumn antique (items, not cars) show/sale, as I have done for several years (though not last year...had to visit the granddaughter right after she was born!)    Prior to leaving, I visited the nail salon for a pedicure, plus a repair on one of my fingernails, which lost some of its gel.  The techs diligently addressed me as "Ma'am" - for which I'm grateful.  I feel very feminine in their shop, and enjoy occasional discussions with the girls...

On the first day, I wore stirrup pants with pantyhose, flats, necklace and a women's turtleneck tunic.  The show is some distance from where I live, requiring a morning on the road before arrival. Those who knew me from previous attendance already were aware of my  birth gender, and didn't seeem to care about my sartorial style.  And concurrently, that afternoon when the show began, vendors noted that attendance got "off on the wrong foot" - translation: it was "way down".  All of us began to be concerned, but the show was for two more full days, so anything could happen.  

During past shows, there have been a number of comments from men whenever I used the men's room.  I'm now limiting my liquid and caffeine intake at the show, which cuts the number of times I need to visit.  But with so few attendees,  that day there was no issue whatsoever when I used the men's room.

At the end of the first day, when I checked into my hotel, I was addressed as a woman.  By everyone.  When I entered the hotel with my luggage, the doors were opened and held for me by male guests.  Upon thanking the men, they replied "you're welcome, Ma'am."  The desk clerk (male) unwaveringly used female forms of address (both at check in, and - by a different male clerk - on check-out.)  On my first trip up the elevator, a luggage-less and attractive twentysomething woman entered the elevator first, held the door for me (I was hauling my load of luggage), and we chatted briefly about how tough some of the rolling suitcases can be to control.   Coincidentally, we were destined for the same floor, and her room was next to mine.  She didn't seem the least bit concerned...    "Have a great evening, Ma'am."  "You too, Miss."  Nice.  And I wasn't even wearing a skirt yet!

Mandy dressed and painted her face, then went out to dinner.   She was interpreted as - and addressed as - a woman the entire time.   By staff and customers alike.  "Let the lady by, Jimmy!"  And even though Mandy was alone...she had a good time.  Below are some pix of my outfit.   (Sorry the pix are a bit dark.)

I did not hear the dreaded "S" word at all...and loved it!   After dinner it was time to relax and hit the sack early.  Day Two beckons!

Stay tuned...

Mandy

Who could resist...

...the opportunity for my wife and I to spend some time visiting at a timeshare in Maine with my cousin and her hubby?  (Even though it meant no chance for Mandy to be out and about fully dressed)?   Not me, and not us...

During our other excursions this fall, we had chased from MD to NH to TN, finding very little of the annual leaf display.   We were too early - the warm, dry summer seemed to delay onset of the leaf change.  Even now, as I write this (early November), some have changed, but there are still trees with green leaves here on the Delmarva.   Pre-booked tours for "leaf peepers" may have had many unhappy customers this year, because of the late autumn..

Our train trip north from Baltimore to Portland was uneventful, and with the help of a rental car, we caught up to my cousin north of Portland the next day.  And voila!  There it was...in downeast Maine, the annual marvel of autumn colors! 

While traveling or dining with the relatives, I was mostly "Sir" or "no gender reference used", despite my outfit of stirrup pants, women's turtlenecks, flats, purse etc.   One big exception was servers letting the women order first - and when the server asked for my order, I just gave it to her, not worrying about it.

For the time traveling with just my wife, it was mostly "no gender reference" or "implied female."   Curiously, I didn't hear much "Sir" when traveling with her.

I'm going to include a few pictures here from our travels, with comments as appropriate.

View from the top of Cadillac Mountain.

Sunset at Bass Harbor Light...lighthouse hiding in the trees on the right.

Route 1A between Ellsworth and Bangor

Penobscot Narrows Bridge with observation deck (in far tower.)

Mandy underneath the Penobscot Narrows Bridge.

View from the Penobscot Narrows Bridge observation deck...   This is a view of Bucksport, Maine, including the large paper mill across the river in the left center.  That mill was recently shut down, affecting many in this small town.

Fort Knox, across the river from Bucksport, Maine.  The fort was named after Major General Henry Knox, America's first Secretary of War and Commander of Artillery during the American Revolution.  America's other Fort Knox (in Kentucky) was also named after him.  Nearly a million dollars was spent to build Fort Knox.   Appropriations were sporadic over 25 years starting in about 1844.  When work finally stopped in 1869, it was still not completed.

The fort saw two periods of military activity.  Up to about 54 troops were garrisoned there during the Civil War..  As the fort was still under construction,, they lived in temporary wooden buildings behind the granite structure.   Nearly 600 troos from Connecticut lived at the fort for a month during the Spanish-American War.  They lived in tents outside the main structure.  No enemy shis ever appeared on the Penobscot, or threatened its towns during these wars.

Waterfront in Bar Harbor, Maine.

Along Route 1 north of Ellsworth, Maine.

The new (Dec 2014) bridge over the Kennebec River, linking Richmond and Dresden, Maine.  Picture was taken while standing on the "now" boat launch, which appears to have been the old bridge's access road.   Bridge is tall enough to clear the masts of local sailing ships...thus avoiding installing a lift bridge and paying a full-time bridge tender for the next 100 years.

When taking the train back to Boston on the way home, it was necessary to change from the Amtrak Downeaster, which arrives at Boston's North Station, to the regular Northeast Corridor trains at Boston South Station.

Hired help from the Boston MBTA (the "T" in local terms) directed us out a particular door to find a cab.  But there was no cab stand, and no cabs.  Not one...   Construction in the area may have eliminated the cab stand we had used in our previous visit there a number of years ago.  After hauling our bags all the way out there (we did not "travel light"), my wife was quite dismayed, and a more than a bit cranky about the possibility that we might have to haul our bags back into the station.  (For those who live in Boston and want to tell us that the T is quicker and cheaper:  Yes, we know it's only a short T ride from one station to the other.  But we just wanted to get there...without being "old dogs learning new tricks" while hauling our bags.  The cab was best for us.)

I looked up - and what did I see coming down the street toward us in the far lane?  A beautiful sight  - a vacant cab!  Wonderful!   Having never before hailed a cab the big city way, I emulated "Tootsie" in the 1982 movie of the same name (starring Dustin Hoffman, who played a lousy actor who had to crossdress to get a part in a third-rate soap opera).  Too bad I wasn't wearing a dress...

Taking the lead,  I jumped out into the street and raised my arm.  The cabbie flashed his lights.  When the light turned green  he burned rubber around traffic and pulled in to pick up his 2 fares.    "Where to, Ma'am?"  That cab was a Godsend. Even my wife was thrilled that I got us a cab that easily...and it didn't seem to bother her that the driver thought I'm a woman.   We both reaped the benefit. Why argue prosperity?

Now for the question:  was our driver in fact responding to two women (one at the curb with short hair and in jeans and sneakers, and one in the street with long - feminine - hair, in stirrup pants and flats, with visibly bare ankles and a purse), or to a man and a woman?  Or did he just see two genderless customers?  Don't know for sure...but I suspect the former.  If he recognized my physical gender, it didn't matter to him.  Money beckoned... 

Whichever was his reasoning, he got a nice tip from this girl...he appeared at just the right time to de-fuse a looming issue with my wife, who was grumpy and exhausted from over a week of traveling.

And after getting on the train for Baltimore, we relaxed as the Conductor checked our tickets:  "Thanks for traveling Amtrak, ladies."

A great end to a fabulous "androgynous excursion..."

Mandy

Quickie: "Nice skirt..."

It was an interesting vacation.

I made no attempt at femininity the whole time.  My outfits generally were shorts and club logo tops of various organizations.  Most of the time my appearance resulted in "no gender-related greetings."  But at restaurants, there were more than a few stray indications that they (the staff) interpreted both my wife and I as female.  Things like asking "one bill or two?",  leaving the bill on the table between us, and pointing me toward the ladies' room.  One that comes immediately to mind was a server asking for orders, who said "Ladies first, and started with my wife.  She then took my order and my friend's wife's order, before taking our friend's husband's order. 

Yet, "Sir" would occasionally pop up at the oddest of times, sometimes after the above types of situations.  I guess that comes as part of my androgynous presentation.  A little confusion never hurt anybody.

Among friends, as we frequently were - of course they know my true gender.  And everyone seems to accept my presentation.

However, one particular day I was wearing shorts over bare shaved legs,  a men's club logo polo shirt (men's because it was all they sold - it's OK for women to wear men's things - double standard, of course), women's flats, and carrying my purse.  I carried the sweater I wore that day...it had been a bit chilly that morning.   By afternoon,  it was tied it around my waist to free up my arm.

That little change was sufficient to elicit a comment from the jokester in the crowd, who at one point happened to be walking behind me:  "Nice skirt, (insert my given name here.)"   My generic reply (with a smile) was "glad you like it.   It's very comfortable."   What I didn't say (to spare my wife, and avoid controversy) would have been "You can be glad I'm not wearing all the other trimmings today - like styled hair, makeup, jewelry and a pair of heels to match."

Even so, I didn't hear another peep out of him about it.   Wonder why?

Hugs,

Mandy

From Nashville...

It's not often that you're walking in a downtown (urban) environment (in this case, Nashville at mid-day) with your wife and son,  with lots of people on the street. and experience something like the following...    After having just come out of an entertainment venue,  you hear a "snap."   Sort of like a firecracker, but not as loud - more like the sound of a kid's cap pistol being discharged. (OK, there's one the younger folks may not remember - cap pistols - kids' toy guns with those little paper rolls inside, having bumps of a substance which explodes when the trigger is pulled.)

Curiosity got the best of us and instead of running (nobody else was running, either), we looked around.   Slightly behind us was a very disheveled and shabbily-clothed woman, picking up her cell phone off the sidewalk and muttering.   Hmmm.   As we watched, she put the phone to her ear,  dialed and then started mumbling something about the (expletive deleted) phone not letting her make an (expletive deleted) emergency call...   Then she whipped the phone forcefully to the ground - again.   "SNAP!"

We couldn't believe what we were seeing...and we'll never know what her emergency was.   Perhaps she was trying to reach her husband or significant other?   Could she have forgotten to pay her phone bill?   Was she homeless? (Most likely, from her appearance.)  Or perhaps it was a stolen phone - which had been locked and thus unusable?  Or maybe she was trying to reach her drug dealer for a quick fix, and at an inopportune time, ran out of minutes.

In any event, it was time to move on, as she didn't need any sort of help we could - or would - provide.  And it was very obvious from the snapping, which continued at least 3 more times as we walked away,  that her phone was never going to make another call.   Un-explainable things happen in big cities...

At one point during our visit, we had an appointment for a tour of a Nashville area historical house, with some friends.   The tour group leader saw us walk in, and as I stood next to my male friend, asked me "Are you (insert male friend's wife's name here)?" as we were standing there.   I smiled and said "No, I'm (insert my given -  now female - first name here) - the lady you want is standing over there."   He went over to talk to her about the reservation she had made.

Fortunately her husband is a bit hard of hearing...nothing was said about the "mix-up."

In a few minutes, our lady friend came over with the tour guide, and introduced us all.  He shook everyone's hand...the lady's husband received a normal male handshake, and the rest of us got a female (weak) handshake, and he put his other hand over top of my hand, just like he did with the other women.  At that moment,  I felt intensely feminine, like he was in complete control.  When I saw him do that for the other women, I knew he was treating me as he would any other woman.

We had our tour, and after it was finished, we ended up in the gift shop.  I headed for the restroom, with my purse over my shoulder.  A few seconds later, an attendant came into the men's room as I was closing the stall door - "Ma'am, this is the men's room...the women's room is the next door down."  I gave him my usual "I'm qualified" answer and he said "Oh, ok, sorry Sir...Ma'am" as he blushed, turned and left.   I went about my business, and noticed no other men had come in.  Hmmmm.  I wondered?   But there was nobody outside the men's room as I emerged, thus it was purely luck that I was alone.

Afterward, we (my wife, our friends and I) visited a specialty shopping center a few miles south of Nashville.  There, we came across a large rocking chair, that some kids were playing on.  With our wives "doing their thing" in the ladies' room, our (male) friend decided he wanted a pic of himself sitting on it...which I happily took for him, using his camera.   Then I handed my camera to him so he could reciprocate.

Here is the result:

As he prepared to take my picture, a very nice woman took a few seconds away from being with her kids, and offered to take a picture "of both of you sitting there together."  I guess she thought I was his wife...and that's a first!   Wow...I never figured that would happen.  I thanked her, but begged off, kidding that it would guarantee the camera would surely break with both of us in the picture.   

Afterward we went to dinner.  During our meal, the very efficient male server had absolutely no trouble identifying me as male.

Go figure...

More later,

Mandy

Haunted House

With apologies to Jumpin Gene Simmons , whose song "Haunted House" was popular in the 1960's. there really is a "haunted house" in Wythe County in southwesterrn Virginia.  We were driving south on I-81, saw some signs for Graham's Forge, VA and decided to investigate...

The day was cloudy and foggy, to be sure.  But when the road surface became unpaved, it really set the mood.  After bumping along on washboard surfaces for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes, we came across this massive estate, which was once the home of Squire David Graham who operated 12 furnaces, a forge, and a grain mill, was part owner of nearby lead mines, owned 26,000 acres in the Grahams Forge community, and was known as the “first ironsmith of southwest Virginia”.  

He began to build the original rear frame section of the Mansion in the 1830s.

In 1838, Major David Pierce Graham was born.  It is said that Major Graham lived at “Cedar Run” as it was originally called, all of his life.  Additions to the home were made periodically until the 1890's, with brick being made locally.

In the1930s: Jim Graham, a Wytheville (VA) banker and resident of “Cedar Run”, moved his family from the Mansion “to town” and used the property intermittently for holiday and picnic outings.

Back in 1943: The home and approximately 1200 acres were purchased by law professor Reid Fulton.  His grandfather, Creed Fulton, was a founder of Emory and Henry College.   An eccentric book collector, Fulton lived in the Mansion until the 1980s.  

Fulton sold the property to Dr. James Chitwood of Pulaski in the 1970s and his vast antique book collections were donated and sold to libraries all over the world.  Dr. Chitwood listed the mansion property on the National Historic Register in 1984.  The property was owned briefly by a corporation from West Virginia.   J.C. (Josiah Cephus) 

Weaver purchased the property in early 1990 and incorporated it into his current 4000 acre W.W.  Ranch, where he raises Angus and Hereford beef cattle.
 

The estate has become a paranormal activity hotspot, prompting many expeditions to explore those reports. 

Weaver has maintained the property with direct intention of preservation of the mansion and it's history and heritage. He also hosts many events at the Cedar Run mansion throughout the year, with the most popular events held during the Fall months. Those events include haunted (paranormal) research, music festivals, and ghost tours.

 

 A fascinating place...when you drive off paved road to get there, it sets the mood for things to come.   Too bad we won't be in town for one of their tours!

The rest of our trip south was completely unremarkable...

More later...

Mandy

Dentist, phone store & "on the road again."

I had to take my wife to a couple of appointments the day before we left for a visit to the kids’ place down south. 

After I delivered my wife to the dentist’s office, I set off for the cell phone store for answers to some questions about upgrading to a newer phone.  There, the only clerk was busy selling an expensive i-phone, so I waited for about 20 minutes after having been told by the clerk “stand by for a few minutes, Ma’am – I’ll be with you shortly.”   Twenty minutes later, they were still at it, so I said “I’ll be back later, Miss.”   “No problem Ma’am.  Thanks for understanding.”

So it was back to the dentist to wait for my wife.  When I entered the waiting room (in black capris, a red tee-blouse with necklace, and black flats) while she had her appointment, a woman walked in and sat down.   Instead of sitting there and staring at me, she chose a much friendlier approach to figuring out the enigma - start a discussion about the weather.  I had my laptop with me, and used it to check the forecast as we chatted (I don’t use a smart phone.) 

Naturally, this developed into a wonderful back-and-forth about places we’ve lived and the weather there.  Then a man walked in (her husband, it turned out) after parking their car.  On his way over to sit down next to her, he smiled at me and said “A-ha, a working woman with a laptop.  Where do you work, Ma’am?”   When I told him I’d retired…he said he spent 26 years in the Navy, and was also retired.

He touched on the subject of politics just enough to imply that despite being a retired military man, he could not support “the orange one.”  We agreed that candidate probably would not be a good choice for anyone – except perhaps the "top 1 percent of the top 1 percent."  And we agreed that this is the first election we can recall, where Americans won't be voting for the best candidate...instead they'll vote "for" the one they "dislike the least."  At that point the topic evaporated, and other topics were discussed.   

As more folks came in, they simply picked up a magazine and started to read.    It was a real pleasure to not end up playing "Peek-a-Boo, I See You" with  folks in the waiting room...whether they're wearing sunglasses or not! 

I heard my wife come out of the office and make her next appointment at the front desk (around the corner, out of direct sight), and the clerk asked if she wanted to check with her husband since he had his computer.  (In other words, she knew precisely who I was – and thus my gender.)  My wife said no, and she actually guessed right about a good date for her next appointment.  The folks I was talking with didn’t seem to relate the medical assistant's "husband" comment, and when I got up to leave, they said, “so long, Ma’am.”

The experience "made my day"…that's the way things should always be.

Preparations for our visit to the kids’ place was fun…and on the appointed day, we left the house with me dressed androgynously, in capris and a blouse, with flats.

Enroute, at a couple of rest stops enroute I got the usual “looks” at the men's restroom, but no real issues.   And at our lunch break, the clerk did not use gender specific pronouns.   Other than that, the trip was quite uneventful…giving us time to stop in Marion, VA – home to the Hungry Mother State Park, a visit to which I described in a recent post.

Here we found the Lincoln Theatre, a restored early 20^th century vaudeville venue, beautifully restored after a number of years in disrepair.  The door was unlocked, so we walked in and were only able to get a short, unofficial tour, as there was a planning session in progress on stage - full tours were out of the question.  

Our short visit was sufficient to let us know that stopping by for a show at some point in time, should be added to our list of things to do.   

Coincidentally, the guide locked the theatre doors as we left....oops!   Guess we weren't supposed to just walk in!

And in Virginia nearby is Hungry Mother State Park.  Curious name...beautiful hills and lake, with a morbid reason for the name.  Related to an Indian battle, which resulted in settler Molly Marley and her baby being captured, they escaped but while on the run, the mother died.  When a search party found the toddler, the only words the toddler could say were "Hungry Mother."  Thus the park honors the solemnity of this event.

Thanks for reading!!

More later...

Mandy

The Wedding.....

It was a very good experience...   

In general, on this joint excursion (for a wedding in the mountains of New Hampshire), there were mostly no references to gender in addressing me.  Of course as always, I noted some exceptions to that rule!

Enroute:  Days 1 & 2.    I was dressed in capris, top and flats, and went inside at a PA rest stop, to use the men’s room  (there was no “family room.”)  The female attendant stopped me, pointed out the the men’s room sign by my shoulder, and said "use the women’s room over there." 

In my male voice, I told her that the men’s room was appropriate, and she appeared to be shocked.  That made my day, week and month.   Even better was the look on two womens' faces as I came out of the men’s room and they started to go in – until they read the sign.  I guess I must have been “passing” a bit better than I thought.  No makeup, either...

Maybe next time I'm invited - I should just do it??!!

Traveling in Vermont, on US 5 in Bellows Falls, I was “Ma’am” at a restaurant.   There was an information booth in town, and when I got there (after taking pictures around the Amtrak and Green Mountain railroad stations), my wife was already talking with the lady attendant.  I heard “my husband” mentioned as I browsed.  So, I didn’t do any talking, and when we left, the clerk said " thanks for stopping by, ladies.”

During our walk around town after lunch, we came across this cute old diner.  Wish we had noticed it earlier.   Would have been fun to try it for lunch, instead of the restaurant we visited.

 

We stopped at the Vermont Country Store, just outside of Bellows Falls. In case you're not familiar with them, look them up on the web.  Fascinating place to visit - if you need it, they probably have it.

In White River Junction, a bit further up Route 5, I noticed a pair of abandoned phone booths…see below.  Don’t you wonder how many teens are oblivious to their former place in "everyday life?"   Need to call home?  Find a pay phone...there's one on every corner.  Car acting up?  Look for a place with a pay phone.

But no more. 
 

By dinnertime that night, at the wedding venue, we had checked into our lodging of choice, and I had changed into the best casual male I could muster (women’s slacks and a turtleneck) for the rehearsal dinner, with my hair pulled up and pinned into a pony tail.  (My wife wants it that way, and I'm agreeable...as long as it's only for weddings and funerals.  In return, she seems to pretty much overlook my femininity the rest of the time.)   

The bride and groom knew me as male, as did several others, so there were no issues.  However, it was a good thing I was wearing my pair of women’s dressy work boots with my outfit…and not my dressy black flats.  The bride’s mother was wearing a pair of Clarks flats, exactly like mine…including the same color!  Given the bunch of 30-something women there, it surely would have been noticed.   (Apparently we both have the same taste in shoes…I would have loved to have been wearing her heels that she wore to the wedding the following day.  About 4” high.  Peep toe.  Nice.  Even though she had trouble walking in them.   I would have, too!)

Throughout the evening, I kept hearing girls talking about “Miss (insert my male name – which is now used by females).  Come to find out one of the bride’s best friends is a female by that name.   She’s very attractive, just like the bride!  If I had instinctively responded, it would have not been particularly good, especially since I was presenting as male!

Day 3: the wedding itself.   Other than hearing my name (when people were actually calling to the bride’s best friend), I was not mistaken for female - my hair was pulled into a ponytail/pinned up, and I was wearing my “Weddings and Funerals Only” men’s suit.  It must have made my wife happy that she heard “Sir” being appropriately used a number of times that day.

Days 4 and 5:  Enroute home.  There were no notable issues, even though once again I was back in feminine clothes.    And in Port Jervis, NY we managed to find the former Erie RR turntable and storage siding (with turntable and visible footers for the roundhouse walls) for the defunct short line New York and Greenwood Lake passenger train and engines.  It was behind a pharmacy and next to a substantially-abandoned strip mall.   Not the best of neighborhoods, to say the least, but we survived!  

And I even managed to get some pictures...above and below:

Response to my androgynous style of  dressing was much better than I figured it would be.  Let’s hope that trend continues.

More later,

Mandy