It was an interesting vacation.
I made no attempt at femininity the whole time. My outfits generally were shorts and club logo tops of various organizations. Most of the time my appearance resulted in "no gender-related greetings." But at restaurants, there were more than a few stray indications that they (the staff) interpreted both my wife and I as female. Things like asking "one bill or two?", leaving the bill on the table between us, and pointing me toward the ladies' room. One that comes immediately to mind was a server asking for orders, who said "Ladies first, and started with my wife. She then took my order and my friend's wife's order, before taking our friend's husband's order.
Yet, "Sir" would occasionally pop up at the oddest of times, sometimes after the above types of situations. I guess that comes as part of my androgynous presentation. A little confusion never hurt anybody.
Among friends, as we frequently were - of course they know my true gender. And everyone seems to accept my presentation.
However, one particular day I was wearing shorts over bare shaved legs, a men's club logo polo shirt (men's because it was all they sold - it's OK for women to wear men's things - double standard, of course), women's flats, and carrying my purse. I carried the sweater I wore that day...it had been a bit chilly that morning. By afternoon, it was tied it around my waist to free up my arm.
That little change was sufficient to elicit a comment from the jokester in the crowd, who at one point happened to be walking behind me: "Nice skirt, (insert my given name here.)" My generic reply (with a smile) was "glad you like it. It's very comfortable." What I didn't say (to spare my wife, and avoid controversy) would have been "You can be glad I'm not wearing all the other trimmings today - like styled hair, makeup, jewelry and a pair of heels to match."
Even so, I didn't hear another peep out of him about it. Wonder why?
Hugs,
Mandy
I think that for most people gender certainty is of critical importance. They need the comfort of knowing who they are and, as importantly, who they are dealing with. I surmise that for many dealing with an androgenous person tends to blur the lines and gives them an element of uncertainty in their otherwise world of sureness. It is this question mark that tends to effect their comfort level.
ReplyDeletePat
You are correct that folks need the comfort of gender certainty to know who they are dealing with. But I suspect that, because the jokester already knew me (and my true gender), he was trying to let me know I looked like a girl.
DeleteYes, I already knew that...and I'll do something like that again next time we meet!
Mandy
It's wonderful that you are so comfortable dressing as you prefer with people that you know. And that they accept you so well to joke with you about gender themes :-)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
jen
Androgyny has become my sartorial style, and my intention is to maintain and strengthen it as time goes on.
DeleteI am interpreting his comment as good natured teasing, as I have no reason to think otherwise at this point. We only see them once or twice a year, so "Time Will Tell..."
Mandy
Mandy