Saturday, October 22, 2016

From Nashville...

It's not often that you're walking in a downtown (urban) environment (in this case, Nashville at mid-day) with your wife and son,  with lots of people on the street. and experience something like the following...    After having just come out of an entertainment venue,  you hear a "snap."   Sort of like a firecracker, but not as loud - more like the sound of a kid's cap pistol being discharged. (OK, there's one the younger folks may not remember - cap pistols - kids' toy guns with those little paper rolls inside, having bumps of a substance which explodes when the trigger is pulled.)

Curiosity got the best of us and instead of running (nobody else was running, either), we looked around.   Slightly behind us was a very disheveled and shabbily-clothed woman, picking up her cell phone off the sidewalk and muttering.   Hmmm.   As we watched, she put the phone to her ear,  dialed and then started mumbling something about the (expletive deleted) phone not letting her make an (expletive deleted) emergency call...   Then she whipped the phone forcefully to the ground - again.   "SNAP!"

We couldn't believe what we were seeing...and we'll never know what her emergency was.   Perhaps she was trying to reach her husband or significant other?   Could she have forgotten to pay her phone bill?   Was she homeless? (Most likely, from her appearance.)  Or perhaps it was a stolen phone - which had been locked and thus unusable?  Or maybe she was trying to reach her drug dealer for a quick fix, and at an inopportune time, ran out of minutes.

In any event, it was time to move on, as she didn't need any sort of help we could - or would - provide.  And it was very obvious from the snapping, which continued at least 3 more times as we walked away,  that her phone was never going to make another call.   Un-explainable things happen in big cities...

At one point during our visit, we had an appointment for a tour of a Nashville area historical house, with some friends.   The tour group leader saw us walk in, and as I stood next to my male friend, asked me "Are you (insert male friend's wife's name here)?" as we were standing there.   I smiled and said "No, I'm (insert my given -  now female - first name here) - the lady you want is standing over there."   He went over to talk to her about the reservation she had made.

Fortunately her husband is a bit hard of hearing...nothing was said about the "mix-up."

In a few minutes, our lady friend came over with the tour guide, and introduced us all.  He shook everyone's hand...the lady's husband received a normal male handshake, and the rest of us got a female (weak) handshake, and he put his other hand over top of my hand, just like he did with the other women.  At that moment,  I felt intensely feminine, like he was in complete control.  When I saw him do that for the other women, I knew he was treating me as he would any other woman.

We had our tour, and after it was finished, we ended up in the gift shop.  I headed for the restroom, with my purse over my shoulder.  A few seconds later, an attendant came into the men's room as I was closing the stall door - "Ma'am, this is the men's room...the women's room is the next door down."  I gave him my usual "I'm qualified" answer and he said "Oh, ok, sorry Sir...Ma'am" as he blushed, turned and left.   I went about my business, and noticed no other men had come in.  Hmmmm.  I wondered?   But there was nobody outside the men's room as I emerged, thus it was purely luck that I was alone.

Afterward, we (my wife, our friends and I) visited a specialty shopping center a few miles south of Nashville.  There, we came across a large rocking chair, that some kids were playing on.  With our wives "doing their thing" in the ladies' room, our (male) friend decided he wanted a pic of himself sitting on it...which I happily took for him, using his camera.   Then I handed my camera to him so he could reciprocate.

Here is the result:

As he prepared to take my picture, a very nice woman took a few seconds away from being with her kids, and offered to take a picture "of both of you sitting there together."  I guess she thought I was his wife...and that's a first!   Wow...I never figured that would happen.  I thanked her, but begged off, kidding that it would guarantee the camera would surely break with both of us in the picture.   

Afterward we went to dinner.  During our meal, the very efficient male server had absolutely no trouble identifying me as male.

Go figure...

More later,



  1. It seems like you had more than a few folks figure you were female. If you presented with those slacks, shoes and your purse, along with your hair and nails that was plenty of cues pointing to the ladies room.

    I am glad you had a good day.
    My guess is that the woman on the street was just upset with the workings of her 'Obamaphone' and figured if it were destroyed the government would get her a new one. Either that or she heard that Hillary had her aides smash her smart phones, blackberrys and I pads with a hammer and thought if it worked for Hillary perhaps she would try the same.

    1. By addressing me as female, folks may be uncertain, but simply cover their bases... Whatever the reason, it sure sounds good!

      There could be many reasons for someone to smash their phone. You presented some plausible ones. From where we stood, more likely she was high on something, and the phone wasn't letting her do what she wanted (maybe because she pushed the wrong button) and that tripped her trigger.

      Would she wonder why the phone was smashed when she recovered from whatever she took? Don't know. And fortunately, it's her problem.

      (Though when the telemarketers call on mine, there is a certain urge to do the same thing the lady did!)


  2. I hate when telemarketers call me on my cell, especially when I am driving. It really should not be possible for them to call a cell phone.

    As for the lady who smashed her phone I continue to maintain that it was a taxpayer supplied phone. No one I know who paid for their phone with their own money would destroy their own property and then have to buy a new one. That is why I mentioned Hillary. The dozen devices that she had smashed with a hammer were paid for by the taxpayer. I always thought that destroying government property was a crime???

    1. Pat,

      I agree about the telemarketer calls...particularly on a cell phone. I have all of my phones set to announce the incoming caller. If they're not in my contacts list, or if the calling number is my own phone number (that happens a lot) they get the factory-set greeting when I don't answer. For some odd reason, they never leave a message.

      Congress could actually do something that everyone would approve of, by restricting telemarketers and their activities. Especially the "You've won a free cruise - if you answer a few questions" type of marketing.

      But they don't.

      My wife and I strongly suspect the woman's extremely slovenly appearance (you couldn't possibly know that without seeing her) and irrational actions, indicate that she was a homeless druggie on a high, using a stolen phone she "acquired" somewhere along the line. And which finally got shut off. So she couldn't make an emergency call to her supplier and replenish her recreational pharmaceuticals.

      But nobody will never know for sure!

      Many people eligible for "free phones" would be more appreciative of them than that, and the safety a phone affords them. (Of course, there is always a rotten apple in every barrel. And it could conceivably be the lady smashing her phone...)