Sunday, November 27, 2016

Quickie: The fun continues...

After getting home from the antique show, one of my first appointments was with the eye doctor.   The office was located in the mall where some aggressive peddlers have their kiosks, so I arranged to arrive early, before the mall officially opened, and do my walking there at the mall instead of the basement.  Perhaps getting to the office just as they open and avoiding the peddlers.

In the process of walking that morning, I explored some of the other passages of shops, and discovered that by walking a bit out of my way, there was a combination of hallways which would indeed avoid walking past the peddlers.   So, now I have a choice...pass them, or avoid them, whichever I'm in the mood for at the moment.  When I'm in the mood to be flattered about my appearance, I can route myself by them....    Choices are always good! 

I was dressed like many other women at the mall...capris, tunic top and flats.  Close shave but no makeup.  The biggest difference from other women was that I wore pantyhose, as is still my preference, though I've gone without on occasion.  When I showed up at the desk in the doctor's office, there were new assistants there.  And I was addressed as "Ma'am."  Which is always my preference, even in androgynous mode.

Then the tech came in.  I've known her for many years.  We greeted each other, joked around a bit, and then she took me into the lens room, so I could remove my contact lenses, which were the topic du jour.  As I did, this time she watched me see how I moved my fingers with my now-very-long nails.  (That's been a topic of discussion before.)  But Success!  They came right out.   My question back at her was: "other women have longer nails than I do - how do they get their lenses out?"  "The same way you did..." was her answer.

Then it was off to the exam room.  While she operated the machines to measure my eyes, she complimented my outfit and asked "did you mind that the girls out front addressed you as "Ma'am?"  I told her that part of the reason for it may be my feminine given name.  But I told her that I respond to "Ma'am" or "Miss" and much prefer female forms of address.  So she can relax, it's never a problem.  I also mentioned that I do respond to Mr. or Sir, when appropriate.  She asked if I wore feminine things every day, and I said "I dress like you see me, absolutely.  One of these days don't be shocked if I show up in a skirt."  And she smiled broadly. "No'll look fabulous in a skirt.  What does your wife think?"  "She tolerates my sartorial style as you see it, but wishes it weren't so." 

Then the tech got serious again, regarding the results of the election and things that were said about women and various minority groups during the campaign (anyone who followed our election knows which ones, I don't need to recite them.)  "A lot of things were said about various groups, and now you're part of two groups in the center of the administration's crosshairs: Women and LGBT.  If things get bad for LGBT folks, is it possible for you to cut your hair, remove the nails and buy menswear as your ticket back to the male side for safety?"  "To answer your question, yes I probably could, but I don't know if I would - I'll make that decision later.  Hopefully MUCH later - or preferably never!"

"Well, I'm a woman and always will be, but I'm also (insert one of the new-administration-hated ethnic groups here - I've left specifics out for her privacy.)  So I'm doubly at risk, as are you at the moment.  But you do have one advantage:  to most people, you're an American woman.  Sweetie, whatever you do, and wherever you go, PLEASE BE SAFE.  It's dangerous out there.  As a woman, you follow the rules for female safety.   When you go out at night, beware of nearby men...and go with other girls or get an escort if necessary."  "Don't worry, I do - and I will."   Then it was time to see the Doctor, and I went through part of the above another willing, supportive person...   Good turn of events!

But there's one thing I'm curious about...if I were in front of her in line at the women's room, would she (as a seemingly-supportive female) feel threatened by me if we entered the women's room at the same time and she and I sat down in adjacent stalls, or if we refreshed our lipstick and powdered our noses at the mirror, side-by-side?

Since I don't know the answer...when the situation presents itself in the future, I'll ask!

More later...



  1. Sounds like you have a good friend and accepting person who would be pleased to deal with you in a skirt and clearly recognizes the other femme cues that define your daily presentation (hair, nails, pantyhose, etc.)

    I do not think either of you have anything to worry about. The election campaign waged by Hillary was one where she had no ideas or policies other than following the Democrat, left wing, Alinsky, playbook of creating a monster and demonizing the opposition.
    More minorities, LGBT, etc. voted for Trump than for either Romney or McCain. You have nothing to fear from Trump and his New York values other than the images of fear created by the campaign against him.
    He was never a monster during his business career. Nor was he a sexist, racist, etc or other type of deplorable when he was making millions for NBC during the run of the Apprentice.
    I spoken with several LGBT people who supported Trump. Try not to buy into the bigotry of the left in demonizing those over whom they want to exert power.

    1. Hi Pat,

      I agree about the friend...particularly since she and I are both in the same boat! And I certainly hope and pray that your prediction "we don't have much to worry about" turns out to be true...unfortunately, I'm still skeptical.

      As for the election, I generally stay out of heavy political discussion. But as I have said before, on Maryland's eastern shore, it almost never matters how we individually might vote...for national offices, even if every resident here votes "R", typically the Democrats win Maryland, based on 4 or 5 political subdivisions around Baltimore...and that was true again this time as well. (Yes, I know...Spiro Agnew, Bob Ehrlich, and Gov. Hogan round out a few aberrations of that theory.)

      If the electoral college vote goes his way, the President-Elect will have "won", so hopefully everyone will give him a chance... Only time will tell how well his ideas and guidance are represented in the history books.

      But on the radio yesterday, I heard a rock and roll song from the 60' may recognize it from these words...

      "Hey come on, babe
      Follow me
      I'm the Pied Piper
      Follow me
      I'm the Pied Piper
      And I'll show you where it's at
      Come on, babe
      Can't you see
      I'm the Pied Piper
      Trust in me
      I'm the Pied Piper
      And I'll show you where it's at"

      "The Pied Piper" by Crispian St. Peters

      A lively, catchy tune, to say the least. But to me, it's sort of haunting. The words sound more than a little bit like what just happened. "Trust in me." We heard that phrase a lot in the campaign. And that sounds a bit like the "Hope" and "Change" snake oil the nation voted for in two prior elections....

      Hmmm, apparently the concept's not limited to just one political party...

      However, at this point, it's "water over the dam and under the bridge." We can't do anything about it (unless proposed recounts bring out some major flaws in the totals...which is doubtful.)

      My concern is that my family's future hinges in part on my Social Security and Medicare. I've been paying taxes toward them each year for my entire working life. So, I hope Congress doesn't take them away....or reduce the that I'm collecting some of what I paid in.

      And if you're within 5 years of retiring, you're probably hoping the same thing! Why put those of us who paid for it, because it was something we could depend on (and we couldn't opt out), into poverty?

      End of my rant...


    2. Mandy
      I remember the song well. Catchy tune. Trump, however, seems to be going with a transition team of folks who have their own views of things and are not known for their shyness in expressing opinions. All who know Trump say that he is a great and detailed listener who values the input of those who he trusts.

      If you go back to the primaries while there were some running who mentioned that for future generations there would be some reforms needed for SS and Medicare Trumps position was that he would not mess with either program. At your age and mine I am fully confident that there will be no tinkering with the benefits we have paid for.

      As for the recounts being run by Jill Stein with the support of Hillary and George Soros I think she should be prosecuted for fraud. She has raised almost $7 Million claiming she will have a recount done in Wisc., Mich., and Penna. THe deadline for Penna has passed so she is raising money based on a false notion. It is a crime to solicit funds for an aim that is not possible to achieve. The fact that more than twice as much money has been raised to challenge the election results in three states than Stein raised during her entire campaign does not pass the smell test.

      PS: New York City and Los Angeles recorded margins of victory for HRC of over 3 million votes. My vote as a New Yorker does not matter but I have never missed voting on election day.

    3. Pat,

      I always vote, too, regardless of how everyone else does. Even in local elections where my vote stands a better chance of counting...because turnout is so low.

      Time will tell how the history books will record this unusual and unparalleled period in American history. And I just wish I were as confident as you that the outcome will be good.

      You may remember John Fogerty's 1969 hit "Bad Moon Rising":

      I see a bad moon a-rising
      I see trouble on the way
      I see earth quakes and lightning
      I see bad times today.

      And it goes on...

      That could certainly fit the current political and social atmosphere (not that things would be much different, had the other party's candidate won.)

      So I guess we'll all "wait and see," won't we?