Several weeks ago, our neighbors - the ones who may (or may not) have noticed my skirt when we met at the restaurant (see prior post from November 13 titled "It Happened...") invited us to an Army/Navy football party at their place. Without any other plans, we accepted their invitation. But, I began to silently wonder (or maybe worry is a better word) whether there was a reason or motive behind why they "thought of us..."
The invitation told us that the colors of the day were navy blue and gold...and that all would be expected to cheer on the Navy. (He's an ex-Navy retiree.) This was fine with us...the Navy typically wins anyway, and since Annapolis isn't all that far away, why not cheer on the home team? (And yes, they won again this year...)
Our area was not in the "snow area" of the winter storm affecting so many folks on game day. I stepped into my navy blue stirrup pants, black tights, a gold polo shirt, and my still-new-looking women's flats. The better half also had a navy-and-gold outfit, but her pants were less feminine than mine. We finished dressing as the pre-game began. I grabbed my purse and we walked over to the neighbors' house, where we were welcomed into a rather small group - two other couples we knew only casually, the neighbors, and ourselves.
It was actually a wonderful get-acquainted party. I ended up talking with everyone, but as usual, women more than men, who tended to watch the game while we girls chatted. K (his wife) talked to me about the restaurant being one of their favorites and we both discussed how we learned about it... T wanted to know more about our vacation. And N wanted to know when and from where I retired. There was no mention of my skirt outfit the night "It Happened", by either K, or E (her husband.) And fortunately, there was no hint whatsoever that the topic was "the elephant in the room." They actually may not have seen it...
The take-away from this issue is: that I need to be selective of where I go in a skirt, and now, to always check my itinerary against the bus tour schedule in our own area before planning an outing. Normally, National Harbor would have been an extremely safe venue, as far away as it is, because it's Convention-oriented and the only people we saw that we knew were 40 neighbors from the bus tour. Plus the one so-very-obvious caveat: I need to stay away from theaters (which is not a problem) and that one particular restaurant!
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Mandy -
ReplyDeleteAnd if you did out yourself, how much would it really matter? I'll bet that the women (not the men) may have noticed certain things about your "androgynous" mode of dress that had the aroma of femininity - such as your shoes and stirrup pants. There are people who accept you - and that's what counts.
M
Marian,
ReplyDeleteI probably already have "outed" myself, at least to the women, due to my various stirrup and capri outfits having a so-aptly-described "aroma of femininity." And I'm perfectly OK with that. The men haven't seemed to pick up on it yet....maybe it's just a matter of time? Or won't they notice till the women point it out to them? And what will their reaction be?
Is what I'm experiencing so far the ladies' true acceptance, or just toleration? Either way, I'm very thankful for it. Hopefully they all will continue to accept me "as I am." That acceptance could lead the way to greater public freedom for "the woman within..."
Time will tell...
Mandy
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have observed on your blog your presentation is clearly more feminine than masculine. The shoes, stirrups, capris, hair and nails clearly tilt towards the feminine. You have found acceptance as the person that you are. Your friends have a name that they have used for years and have a comfort level with that name. Your appearance is accepted as being part and parcel of you being you. That is all good.
If you were seen with a skirt by the host and/or hostess it was simply not an issue. It is still you and you are the same person to them whether you are wearing a skirt or slacks.
Pat
Pat,
DeleteUntil that party, I was concerned about whether I'd be "outed" by them to everyone. Didn't happen - they are nice folks. I truly can't believe they didn't notice what I was wearing as I walked in! So, in 20-20 hindsight, my skirt was "no issue."
Since the better half still has issues about what I wear in public, when dressed I won't go out of my way to run into anyone we know. I'll take reasonable precautions, but won't overly concern myself about being seen.
Now I just need to find time to get away and dress...it's not happening for a while yet! This is every year's "dry season" as far as dressing goes.
Enjoy the Holidays!
Mandy