It was an interesting vacation.
I made no attempt at femininity the whole time. My outfits generally were shorts and club logo tops of various organizations. Most of the time my appearance resulted in "no gender-related greetings." But at restaurants, there were more than a few stray indications that they (the staff) interpreted both my wife and I as female. Things like asking "one bill or two?", leaving the bill on the table between us, and pointing me toward the ladies' room. One that comes immediately to mind was a server asking for orders, who said "Ladies first, and started with my wife. She then took my order and my friend's wife's order, before taking our friend's husband's order.
Yet, "Sir" would occasionally pop up at the oddest of times, sometimes after the above types of situations. I guess that comes as part of my androgynous presentation. A little confusion never hurt anybody.
Among friends, as we frequently were - of course they know my true gender. And everyone seems to accept my presentation.
However, one particular day I was wearing shorts over bare shaved legs, a men's club logo polo shirt (men's because it was all they sold - it's OK for women to wear men's things - double standard, of course), women's flats, and carrying my purse. I carried the sweater I wore that day...it had been a bit chilly that morning. By afternoon, it was tied it around my waist to free up my arm.
That little change was sufficient to elicit a comment from the jokester in the crowd, who at one point happened to be walking behind me: "Nice skirt, (insert my given name here.)" My generic reply (with a smile) was "glad you like it. It's very comfortable." What I didn't say (to spare my wife, and avoid controversy) would have been "You can be glad I'm not wearing all the other trimmings today - like styled hair, makeup, jewelry and a pair of heels to match."
Even so, I didn't hear another peep out of him about it. Wonder why?
Hugs,
Mandy
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
From Nashville...
It's not often that you're walking in a downtown (urban) environment (in this case, Nashville at mid-day) with your wife and son, with lots of people on the street. and experience something like the following... After having just come out of an entertainment venue, you hear a "snap." Sort of like a firecracker, but not as loud - more like the sound of a kid's cap pistol being discharged. (OK, there's one the younger folks may not remember - cap pistols - kids' toy guns with those little paper rolls inside, having bumps of a substance which explodes when the trigger is pulled.)
Curiosity got the best of us and instead of running (nobody else was running, either), we looked around. Slightly behind us was a very disheveled and shabbily-clothed woman, picking up her cell phone off the sidewalk and muttering. Hmmm. As we watched, she put the phone to her ear, dialed and then started mumbling something about the (expletive deleted) phone not letting her make an (expletive deleted) emergency call... Then she whipped the phone forcefully to the ground - again. "SNAP!"
We couldn't believe what we were seeing...and we'll never know what her emergency was. Perhaps she was trying to reach her husband or significant other? Could she have forgotten to pay her phone bill? Was she homeless? (Most likely, from her appearance.) Or perhaps it was a stolen phone - which had been locked and thus unusable? Or maybe she was trying to reach her drug dealer for a quick fix, and at an inopportune time, ran out of minutes.
In any event, it was time to move on, as she didn't need any sort of help we could - or would - provide. And it was very obvious from the snapping, which continued at least 3 more times as we walked away, that her phone was never going to make another call. Un-explainable things happen in big cities...
At one point during our visit, we had an appointment for a tour of a Nashville area historical house, with some friends. The tour group leader saw us walk in, and as I stood next to my male friend, asked me "Are you (insert male friend's wife's name here)?" as we were standing there. I smiled and said "No, I'm (insert my given - now female - first name here) - the lady you want is standing over there." He went over to talk to her about the reservation she had made.
Fortunately her husband is a bit hard of hearing...nothing was said about the "mix-up."
In a few minutes, our lady friend came over with the tour guide, and introduced us all. He shook everyone's hand...the lady's husband received a normal male handshake, and the rest of us got a female (weak) handshake, and he put his other hand over top of my hand, just like he did with the other women. At that moment, I felt intensely feminine, like he was in complete control. When I saw him do that for the other women, I knew he was treating me as he would any other woman.
We had our tour, and after it was finished, we ended up in the gift shop. I headed for the restroom, with my purse over my shoulder. A few seconds later, an attendant came into the men's room as I was closing the stall door - "Ma'am, this is the men's room...the women's room is the next door down." I gave him my usual "I'm qualified" answer and he said "Oh, ok, sorry Sir...Ma'am" as he blushed, turned and left. I went about my business, and noticed no other men had come in. Hmmmm. I wondered? But there was nobody outside the men's room as I emerged, thus it was purely luck that I was alone.
Afterward, we (my wife, our friends and I) visited a specialty shopping center a few miles south of Nashville. There, we came across a large rocking chair, that some kids were playing on. With our wives "doing their thing" in the ladies' room, our (male) friend decided he wanted a pic of himself sitting on it...which I happily took for him, using his camera. Then I handed my camera to him so he could reciprocate.
Here is the result:
As he prepared to take my picture, a very nice woman took a few seconds away from being with her kids, and offered to take a picture "of both of you sitting there together." I guess she thought I was his wife...and that's a first! Wow...I never figured that would happen. I thanked her, but begged off, kidding that it would guarantee the camera would surely break with both of us in the picture.
Afterward we went to dinner. During our meal, the very efficient male server had absolutely no trouble identifying me as male.
Go figure...
More later,
Mandy
Curiosity got the best of us and instead of running (nobody else was running, either), we looked around. Slightly behind us was a very disheveled and shabbily-clothed woman, picking up her cell phone off the sidewalk and muttering. Hmmm. As we watched, she put the phone to her ear, dialed and then started mumbling something about the (expletive deleted) phone not letting her make an (expletive deleted) emergency call... Then she whipped the phone forcefully to the ground - again. "SNAP!"
We couldn't believe what we were seeing...and we'll never know what her emergency was. Perhaps she was trying to reach her husband or significant other? Could she have forgotten to pay her phone bill? Was she homeless? (Most likely, from her appearance.) Or perhaps it was a stolen phone - which had been locked and thus unusable? Or maybe she was trying to reach her drug dealer for a quick fix, and at an inopportune time, ran out of minutes.
In any event, it was time to move on, as she didn't need any sort of help we could - or would - provide. And it was very obvious from the snapping, which continued at least 3 more times as we walked away, that her phone was never going to make another call. Un-explainable things happen in big cities...
At one point during our visit, we had an appointment for a tour of a Nashville area historical house, with some friends. The tour group leader saw us walk in, and as I stood next to my male friend, asked me "Are you (insert male friend's wife's name here)?" as we were standing there. I smiled and said "No, I'm (insert my given - now female - first name here) - the lady you want is standing over there." He went over to talk to her about the reservation she had made.
Fortunately her husband is a bit hard of hearing...nothing was said about the "mix-up."
In a few minutes, our lady friend came over with the tour guide, and introduced us all. He shook everyone's hand...the lady's husband received a normal male handshake, and the rest of us got a female (weak) handshake, and he put his other hand over top of my hand, just like he did with the other women. At that moment, I felt intensely feminine, like he was in complete control. When I saw him do that for the other women, I knew he was treating me as he would any other woman.
We had our tour, and after it was finished, we ended up in the gift shop. I headed for the restroom, with my purse over my shoulder. A few seconds later, an attendant came into the men's room as I was closing the stall door - "Ma'am, this is the men's room...the women's room is the next door down." I gave him my usual "I'm qualified" answer and he said "Oh, ok, sorry Sir...Ma'am" as he blushed, turned and left. I went about my business, and noticed no other men had come in. Hmmmm. I wondered? But there was nobody outside the men's room as I emerged, thus it was purely luck that I was alone.
Afterward, we (my wife, our friends and I) visited a specialty shopping center a few miles south of Nashville. There, we came across a large rocking chair, that some kids were playing on. With our wives "doing their thing" in the ladies' room, our (male) friend decided he wanted a pic of himself sitting on it...which I happily took for him, using his camera. Then I handed my camera to him so he could reciprocate.
Here is the result:
As he prepared to take my picture, a very nice woman took a few seconds away from being with her kids, and offered to take a picture "of both of you sitting there together." I guess she thought I was his wife...and that's a first! Wow...I never figured that would happen. I thanked her, but begged off, kidding that it would guarantee the camera would surely break with both of us in the picture.
Afterward we went to dinner. During our meal, the very efficient male server had absolutely no trouble identifying me as male.
Go figure...
More later,
Mandy
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Haunted House
With apologies to Jumpin Gene Simmons , whose song "Haunted House" was popular in the 1960's. there really is a "haunted house" in Wythe County in southwesterrn Virginia. We were driving south on I-81, saw some signs for Graham's Forge, VA and decided to investigate...
The day was cloudy and foggy, to be sure. But when the road surface became unpaved, it really set the mood. After bumping along on washboard surfaces for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes, we came across this massive estate, which was once the home of Squire David Graham who operated 12 furnaces, a forge, and a grain mill, was part owner of nearby lead mines, owned 26,000 acres in the Grahams Forge community, and was known as the “first ironsmith of southwest Virginia”.
He began to build the original rear frame section of the Mansion in the 1830s.
In 1838, Major David Pierce Graham was born. It is said that Major Graham lived at “Cedar Run” as it was originally called, all of his life. Additions to the home were made periodically until the 1890's, with brick being made locally.
In the1930s: Jim Graham, a Wytheville (VA) banker and resident of “Cedar Run”, moved his family from the Mansion “to town” and used the property intermittently for holiday and picnic outings.
Back in 1943: The home and approximately 1200 acres were purchased by law professor Reid Fulton. His grandfather, Creed Fulton, was a founder of Emory and Henry College. An eccentric book collector, Fulton lived in the Mansion until the 1980s.
Fulton sold the property to Dr. James Chitwood of Pulaski in the 1970s and his vast antique book collections were donated and sold to libraries all over the world. Dr. Chitwood listed the mansion property on the National Historic Register in 1984. The property was owned briefly by a corporation from West Virginia. J.C. (Josiah Cephus)
Weaver purchased the property in early 1990 and incorporated it into his current 4000 acre W.W. Ranch, where he raises Angus and Hereford beef cattle.
The estate has become a paranormal activity hotspot, prompting many expeditions to explore those reports.
Weaver has maintained the property with direct intention of preservation of the mansion and it's history and heritage. He also hosts many events at the Cedar Run mansion throughout the year, with the most popular events held during the Fall months. Those events include haunted (paranormal) research, music festivals, and ghost tours.
The day was cloudy and foggy, to be sure. But when the road surface became unpaved, it really set the mood. After bumping along on washboard surfaces for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few minutes, we came across this massive estate, which was once the home of Squire David Graham who operated 12 furnaces, a forge, and a grain mill, was part owner of nearby lead mines, owned 26,000 acres in the Grahams Forge community, and was known as the “first ironsmith of southwest Virginia”.
He began to build the original rear frame section of the Mansion in the 1830s.
In 1838, Major David Pierce Graham was born. It is said that Major Graham lived at “Cedar Run” as it was originally called, all of his life. Additions to the home were made periodically until the 1890's, with brick being made locally.
In the1930s: Jim Graham, a Wytheville (VA) banker and resident of “Cedar Run”, moved his family from the Mansion “to town” and used the property intermittently for holiday and picnic outings.
Back in 1943: The home and approximately 1200 acres were purchased by law professor Reid Fulton. His grandfather, Creed Fulton, was a founder of Emory and Henry College. An eccentric book collector, Fulton lived in the Mansion until the 1980s.
Fulton sold the property to Dr. James Chitwood of Pulaski in the 1970s and his vast antique book collections were donated and sold to libraries all over the world. Dr. Chitwood listed the mansion property on the National Historic Register in 1984. The property was owned briefly by a corporation from West Virginia. J.C. (Josiah Cephus)
Weaver purchased the property in early 1990 and incorporated it into his current 4000 acre W.W. Ranch, where he raises Angus and Hereford beef cattle.
The estate has become a paranormal activity hotspot, prompting many expeditions to explore those reports.
Weaver has maintained the property with direct intention of preservation of the mansion and it's history and heritage. He also hosts many events at the Cedar Run mansion throughout the year, with the most popular events held during the Fall months. Those events include haunted (paranormal) research, music festivals, and ghost tours.
A fascinating place...when you drive off paved road to get there, it sets the mood for things to come. Too bad we won't be in town for one of their tours!
The rest of our trip south was completely unremarkable...
More later...
Mandy
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Dentist, phone store & "on the road again."
I
had to take my wife to a couple of appointments the day before we left for a
visit to the kids’ place down south.
After
I delivered my wife to the dentist’s office, I set off for the cell phone store
for answers to some questions about upgrading to a newer phone. There, the only clerk was busy selling an
expensive i-phone, so I waited for about 20 minutes after having been told by
the clerk “stand by for a few minutes, Ma’am – I’ll be with you shortly.” Twenty minutes later, they were still at it,
so I said “I’ll be back later, Miss.”
“No problem Ma’am. Thanks for
understanding.”
So
it was back to the dentist to wait for my wife.
When I entered the waiting room (in black capris, a red tee-blouse with necklace, and
black flats) while she had her appointment, a woman walked in and sat
down. Instead of sitting there and
staring at me, she chose a much friendlier approach to figuring out the enigma - start a discussion about
the weather. I had my laptop with me,
and used it to check the forecast as we chatted (I don’t use a smart
phone.)
Naturally,
this developed into a wonderful back-and-forth about places we’ve lived and the
weather there. Then a man walked in (her
husband, it turned out) after parking their car. On his way over to sit down next to her, he
smiled at me and said “A-ha, a working woman with a laptop. Where do you work, Ma’am?” When I told him I’d retired…he said he spent
26 years in the Navy, and was also retired.
He
touched on the subject of politics just enough to imply that despite being a
retired military man, he could not support “the orange one.” We agreed that candidate probably would not be a
good choice for anyone – except perhaps the "top 1 percent of the top 1
percent." And we agreed that this is the first election we can recall, where Americans won't be voting for the best candidate...instead they'll vote "for" the one they "dislike the least." At that point the topic
evaporated, and other topics were discussed.
As more folks came in, they simply picked up a magazine and started to read. It was a real pleasure to not end up playing "Peek-a-Boo, I See You" with folks in the waiting room...whether they're wearing sunglasses or not!
As more folks came in, they simply picked up a magazine and started to read. It was a real pleasure to not end up playing "Peek-a-Boo, I See You" with folks in the waiting room...whether they're wearing sunglasses or not!
I
heard my wife come out of the office and make her next appointment at the front desk (around the corner, out of direct sight), and the
clerk asked if she wanted to check with her husband since he had his
computer. (In other words, she knew precisely who
I was – and thus my gender.) My wife
said no, and she actually guessed right about a good date for her next appointment. The folks I was talking with didn’t seem to relate the medical assistant's "husband" comment, and when I got up to leave, they said, “so long, Ma’am.”
The experience "made
my day"…that's the way things should always be.
Preparations
for our visit to the kids’ place was fun…and on the appointed day, we left the
house with me dressed androgynously, in capris and a blouse, with flats.
Enroute,
at a couple of rest stops enroute I got the usual “looks” at the
men's restroom, but no real issues. And at
our lunch break, the clerk did not use gender specific pronouns. Other
than that, the trip was quite uneventful…giving us time to stop in Marion, VA –
home to the Hungry Mother State Park, a visit to which I described in a recent post.
Here
we found the Lincoln Theatre, a restored early 20th century
vaudeville venue, beautifully restored after a number of years in
disrepair. The door was unlocked, so we walked in and were only able to get a
short, unofficial tour, as there was a planning session in progress on stage - full tours were out of the question.
Our short visit was sufficient to let us know that stopping by for a show at some point in time, should be added to our list of things to do.
Coincidentally, the guide locked the theatre doors as we left....oops! Guess we weren't supposed to just walk in!
And in Virginia nearby is Hungry Mother State Park. Curious name...beautiful hills and lake, with a morbid reason for the name. Related to an Indian battle, which resulted in settler Molly Marley and her baby being captured, they escaped but while on the run, the mother died. When a search party found the toddler, the only words the toddler could say were "Hungry Mother." Thus the park honors the solemnity of this event.
Thanks for reading!!
More later...
Mandy
Monday, October 3, 2016
The Wedding.....
It was a very good experience...
In general, on this joint excursion (for a wedding in the mountains of New Hampshire), there were mostly no references to gender in addressing me. Of course as always, I noted some exceptions to that rule!
In general, on this joint excursion (for a wedding in the mountains of New Hampshire), there were mostly no references to gender in addressing me. Of course as always, I noted some exceptions to that rule!
Enroute: Days 1 & 2. I was dressed in capris, top
and flats, and went inside at a PA rest stop, to use the men’s room (there was no “family room.”) The female attendant stopped me, pointed out the the men’s room sign by my shoulder, and said "use the women’s room over
there."
In my male voice, I told her that the men’s room was appropriate, and she appeared
to be shocked. That made my day, week
and month. Even better was the look on
two womens' faces as I came out of the men’s room and they started to go in –
until they read the sign. I guess I must have been
“passing” a bit better than I thought. No makeup, either...
Maybe next time I'm invited - I should just do it??!!
Maybe next time I'm invited - I should just do it??!!
Traveling
in Vermont, on US 5 in Bellows Falls, I was “Ma’am” at a restaurant. There was an information booth in town, and
when I got there (after taking pictures around the Amtrak and Green Mountain railroad stations), my wife was already
talking with the lady attendant. I heard
“my husband” mentioned as I browsed. So, I didn’t do
any talking, and when we left, the clerk said " thanks for stopping by, ladies.”
During our walk around town after lunch, we came across this cute old
diner. Wish we had noticed it earlier. Would have been fun to try it for lunch, instead of the restaurant we visited.
We
stopped at the Vermont Country Store, just outside of Bellows Falls. In case you're not familiar with them, look them
up on the web. Fascinating place to
visit - if you need it, they probably have it.
But no more.
By
dinnertime that night, at the wedding venue, we had checked into our lodging of choice, and I had changed into the best casual
male I could muster (women’s slacks and a turtleneck) for the rehearsal dinner, with my hair pulled up and pinned into a
pony tail. (My wife wants it that way, and I'm agreeable...as long as it's only for weddings and funerals. In return, she seems to pretty much overlook my femininity the rest of the time.)
The bride and groom knew me as male, as did several others, so there were no issues. However, it was a good thing I was wearing my pair of women’s dressy work boots with my outfit…and not my dressy black flats. The bride’s mother was wearing a pair of Clarks flats, exactly like mine…including the same color! Given the bunch of 30-something women there, it surely would have been noticed. (Apparently we both have the same taste in shoes…I would have loved to have been wearing her heels that she wore to the wedding the following day. About 4” high. Peep toe. Nice. Even though she had trouble walking in them. I would have, too!)
The bride and groom knew me as male, as did several others, so there were no issues. However, it was a good thing I was wearing my pair of women’s dressy work boots with my outfit…and not my dressy black flats. The bride’s mother was wearing a pair of Clarks flats, exactly like mine…including the same color! Given the bunch of 30-something women there, it surely would have been noticed. (Apparently we both have the same taste in shoes…I would have loved to have been wearing her heels that she wore to the wedding the following day. About 4” high. Peep toe. Nice. Even though she had trouble walking in them. I would have, too!)
Throughout
the evening, I kept hearing girls talking about “Miss (insert my male name –
which is now used by females). Come to
find out one of the bride’s best friends is a female by that name. She’s very attractive, just like the
bride! If I had instinctively responded,
it would have not been particularly good, especially since I was presenting as
male!
Day
3: the wedding itself. Other than
hearing my name (when people were actually calling to the bride’s best friend),
I was not mistaken for female - my hair was pulled into a ponytail/pinned up,
and I was wearing my “Weddings and Funerals Only” men’s suit. It must have made my wife happy that she heard “Sir”
being appropriately used a number of times that day.
Days
4 and 5: Enroute home. There were no notable issues, even though
once again I was back in feminine clothes.
And in Port Jervis, NY we managed to find the former Erie RR turntable and storage
siding (with turntable and visible footers for the roundhouse walls) for the
defunct short line New York and Greenwood Lake passenger train and
engines. It was behind a pharmacy and
next to a substantially-abandoned strip mall.
Not the best of neighborhoods, to say the least, but we survived!
And I even managed to get some pictures...above and below:
Response to my androgynous style of dressing was much better than I figured it would be. Let’s hope that trend continues.
Response to my androgynous style of dressing was much better than I figured it would be. Let’s hope that trend continues.
More
later,
Mandy
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Another fun visit to the nail salon...
After having a much needed pedicure, and enjoying the feminine experience, recently it was time to get my fingernails done.
I ended up in the care of the first tech who did my nails there. She immediately addressed me as "Ma'am" and she remembered how I like them done. But this time she took the lead, and insisted in giving me an extra coat of the pink gel. I didn't object, as I have wanted have them a bit more noticeable for a while, thinking my wife would probably tolerate it.
The look was more noticeable as feminine, since at certain angles and in certain light, they appear almost a cream color. Definitely less subdued, and yet not "over the top." More like "womanly." When I arrived home, I wondered if there would be any repercussions...and there weren't. Looks like a "two coats of paint" is now the order of the day!
For anyone keeping track of unusual names for towns, here is one under the category of "Cities named for States." A few years back, we were traveling home from an antique car tour, and came across a cute and well-maintained railroad station. Though it's tough to see on this picture, the sign on the front of the station reads "California." But that isn't the state, it's the town. Yes, Virginia, there really is a California, PA!
And incidentally, there is also a California, MD (though I haven't visited yet.)
On a recent visit to upstate NY, I passed by (but didn't get a picture of) a town named for one of our warmer southern states....everyone knows Florida. But until that trip, I never realized there was a place called "Florida, New York." I doubt it's as warm as the southern Florida during New York's long, cold winters...or that it has many live outdoor palm trees.
More later,
Mandy
I ended up in the care of the first tech who did my nails there. She immediately addressed me as "Ma'am" and she remembered how I like them done. But this time she took the lead, and insisted in giving me an extra coat of the pink gel. I didn't object, as I have wanted have them a bit more noticeable for a while, thinking my wife would probably tolerate it.
The look was more noticeable as feminine, since at certain angles and in certain light, they appear almost a cream color. Definitely less subdued, and yet not "over the top." More like "womanly." When I arrived home, I wondered if there would be any repercussions...and there weren't. Looks like a "two coats of paint" is now the order of the day!
For anyone keeping track of unusual names for towns, here is one under the category of "Cities named for States." A few years back, we were traveling home from an antique car tour, and came across a cute and well-maintained railroad station. Though it's tough to see on this picture, the sign on the front of the station reads "California." But that isn't the state, it's the town. Yes, Virginia, there really is a California, PA!
And incidentally, there is also a California, MD (though I haven't visited yet.)
On a recent visit to upstate NY, I passed by (but didn't get a picture of) a town named for one of our warmer southern states....everyone knows Florida. But until that trip, I never realized there was a place called "Florida, New York." I doubt it's as warm as the southern Florida during New York's long, cold winters...or that it has many live outdoor palm trees.
More later,
Mandy
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