When we finally arrived at the distillery, the gate was open. So, we drove in to the gift shop/visitor center parking lot. The door was locked, however. As we got out and started taking pictures of the displays, another car with 2 ladies in it parked next to ours. When I mentioned that the door was locked, they thanked me, and also got out and started taking pictures. With 4 of us wandering around, cameras clicking, a female guard roared up to the gate in her 4wd, and started yelling that the place was closed and she was going to lock the gate. "So, you ladies need to leave now."
Both groups of us got into our cars and drove out, passing the guard, who apologized and said that the gate sometimes opens by itself, which it apparently did while she was on her rounds. (Like our son's Telly that sometimes turns itself on, when the cat steps on the on-button of the remote?) She was apparently concerned about getting fired if someone got hurt on the property "on her watch." And she invited us to return tomorrow.
Don't know what the other ladies told her, but we said we were only here "today," so a return visit was unlikely. And with that said, we left...as the gate closed behind us. Sounds like a security issue there - and they need to find someone to fix their gate - pronto! (Or else add a full-time guard out front to stop it when it opens.)
The small distillery:
George Dickel distillery, Normandy TN
Some take-aways from our long visit:
I was able to avoid most restroom issues by drinking less during the day, but it wasn't easy or comfortable. In the presence of my wife, using the women's room wasn't an option. Though my androgynous appearance did invoke a friendly reminder from the clerk (at the museum in Monterey, TN) that it was OK for me (presumably a woman) to use the available men's room. Particularly. since the one-holer ladies' room was already occupied.
The fact that folks are generally conservative in Tennessee, so far has not been a major issue.
A few of the duck-dynasty-type males (and there are PLENTY of those) gave me some really long looks (not sure if that's a good - or bad - thing.) A couple times, I was tempted to plagiarize a comment I've seen in one of the other blogs and say: "OK, just pick one." But I haven't.
Southern women still smile and say hi, just as they do in my home state. Even if they do clock me. "Southern hospitality????"
Young kids stare occasionally, more so than up north. Particularly the ill-mannered ones, whom I feel I'm helping to educate. Not sure if it's the nails, long hair, outfit...or, like Meg noted recently, the fact that I carry a purse. (Oh, to be that butterfly on their screen when they get home...)
But one thing is for sure: many don't know how to drive. "No turn signals" were common. Going 45 in a 70 zone, roaring past in the fast lane at 85, then braking hard while cutting across two or three lanes of interstate traffic (right in front of you) to try to get to the exit they just missed, backing up on the shoulder to get to the exit they just missed, and backing up the shoulder of the on-ramp because they really didn't want to be on the freeway, were a few of the examples I saw. (Guess some of them have been driving farm vehicles for too long.)
So, in concluding this story, I'll share a pretty sunset, taken out our son's front door. Enjoy! And thanks for following my travelogue.
Mandy
THE END
It seems like all in all it was a good trip. Family obligations went well, sightseeing had a glitch or two but on balance was a success and everywhere you went you were accepted and tolerated by one and all. There are all types of folks in this country and more and more exposure to folks different than us helps on both sides of the equation. There do not seem to be any more issues that folks like us face in parts that are deemed conservative. Most folks are fine with a live and let live approach.
ReplyDeletePat
Yes, our trip was wonderful. We met some of our son's fiance's family and got to know her parents a bit better. They are nice people, and seem to accept the portion of my androgynous persona that they've met. That's a big plus.
DeleteI'm somewhat used to living in a conservative area over here on the Delmarva. We have our duck dynasty types, and though I get some looks from them, I'm getting used to that. So far, I'd agree that most folks follow the "live and let live" approach.
I know that when I wear a skirt and heels, I don't (and I dislike the term) "pass perfectly." Many of us don't - in the summer it's tough to disguise the old "adam's apple." (Long live turtlenecks.) And we recognize that all it takes is one radical individual to make an incident. That can happen, regardless of whether we are fully fem or living androgynously.
Sooo, I just go on with my life and hope that I steer clear of any trouble...isn't that how we all tend to proceed? One day at a time...
Mandy
Mandy -
ReplyDeleteYour description of "Southern Driving" sounds on target. It makes my driving look good. But given how people looked at you, I feel you were lucky to be an older person - if you were younger, some troublemaker would have used you for trouble.
This is why I wouldn't go South while en-femme, unless I had Facial Feminization Surgery - I'd need to make sure that the biggest thing they would notice on a fat woman (save my weight) would cue them properly....
M
I agree with you - I don't think I'd risk going fully en femme in our son's state, though from a couple of other sites I visit, it seems there are several girls who do. Successfully. Though I dislike using the term, it would seem that "pass-ability" can be a big help in that regard. And I may actually be a little bit light on that characteristic!
DeleteBecause the locations my wife and I visit are typically very public, and there are two of us, the risk is minimized. While down south recently, I never felt seriously threatened. But you and I both recognize - it only takes one deranged individual (of either gender) to make an incident. And that's true regardless of location - from the biggest liberal cities like New York and San Francisco, to the rural areas of the heartland.
I probably will never fully "pass" (there's that term again), as I don't expect to have feminization surgeries at this stage of life. If I were traveling alone, I'd add makeup, jewelry and my voice would be a bit softer/more fem. But since I'm traveling with my wife (in a way, a big plus - safety in numbers), I can't be en femme.
So, together or alone, I basically follow the same safety precautions women do (perhaps with a more "keen eye" as to developing situations), and simply go on with life in the androgynous lane.
Remember, though Maryland's politics are controlled by several liberal political jurisdictions with the biggest concentration of voters (Baltimore city and about 4 metropolitan counties), those counties to the west and across the bay to the east are very conservative. And the eastern areas are my stomping grounds. Yes, we have a bunch of those duck dynasty types here - stereotypically driving older pickup trucks, some with rifle racks in the back window.
So the beat goes on!
Mandy