Sunday, August 24, 2014

Quickie - "Touchy-feely," Trains, and Names.

I was waiting at the ophthalmologist's office Friday...dressed in white capri pants, red short sleeve polo top and white sandals (showing my silver toe nails), with my purse over my shoulder and back to the exit aisle.  My wife was checking out at the desk after her eye appointment, with her back toward me, and I was sort of blocking the exit aisle.  A woman was standing behind me, idly chatting with an employee.

When the woman finished her discussion and started to leave, I hadn't moved.  So she tenderly put her hand on my forearm and said "excuse me, sweetie."  I stepped aside as she moved past, telling her "Sorry" but truly enjoying her feminine touch.  As she passed me, she removed her hand and smiled sweetly, saying "thanks so much, dear."  I returned the smile and said "you're welcome, hon, have a great day" as she was leaving. 

Could it be that she simply accepted me as her equal - another woman?   Had that not been the case, I submit that she'd have just omitted the "touchy-feely part."  (Which my wife couldn't see, as her back was to me.)  Or, maybe she was just checking to see if my arms were stubbly?  (They weren't - I epilate.)

In either case, it was fun!

Just unearthed a few old train pictures...these were taken during a journey on a privately-owned railcar back in 1993.  These treasures certainly bring back a load of good memories...hard to believe it was 21 years ago!

  
Amtrak FL-9 #488,  Albany, NY

FL-9's were able to change from diesel power to 3rd rail power, eliminating an engine change for the trip into NYC.  For those interested, I seem to recall that these were retired from Amtrak in the mid to late 1990's, replaced by a version of the P-32 which was modified to do the same task.  This particular engine has ended up operating on the Maine Eastern RR...at least it's still around, and hasn't been scrapped!

The privately-owned Pullman sleeping car I rode in...halfway across the country and back, in the rearmost position on Amtrak trains...in Albany, NY on the Lake Shore Ltd.  A very sweet ride!


Everyone recognizes the Gateway Arch in St. Louis...

Here's the "view from the top."

In a recent post, Cyrsti Hart (of "Cyrsti's Transgender Condo" fame) said:  "In the beginning of course, I did use my name and my male name only came into play when legally I had to use it behind the scenes because I had not changed my gender markers. (It all made for some interesting calls to Ebay, who were cool.)"   In my own current affairs, I use my male first name, which (though it was also my dad's and granddad's name) is now a female name.  Once names make that "great shift"to the other side of the aisle, the ladies never really give it back!  With very few exceptions, folks I've met who bear that name are either "old men" or "females..."

It hasn't been a problem - I have credit cards with that (now feminine) name and my middle initial, simply eliminating my Jr. status -  my dear father (bless him) passed away about 17 years ago, so there is no longer any confusion.  That fairly well eliminates name issues and really helps with my gender presentation at shops, restaurants, and so on. 

The only places a few eyebrows may be raised is where my Driver's License must be shown.  But even in those situations, my name doesn't seem to be an issue.  I've checked into hotels, visited doctors, cashed checks, traveled on trains, and rented cars...en femme or in androgynous mode, with no problem.  It occasionally helps to precipitate feminine greetings, even when I would figure otherwise, like late in the day as my makeup is losing its battle to hide my beard shadow...

Over the past 20 years, I've done a complete 180-degree change in opinion, from disliking my given name immensely (and being known by first-and-middle-initials-only to hide it), to the exact opposite.  Now, I wouldn't trade it for anything!  And since I'm not  pursuing "full-time," I don't need to worry about my gender markers...at least not right away.

I'm going to try to begin to sound more female at drive-in windows.  But, before you ask, no, I don't have to worry about having folks on the phone with me mistake me for a female.  Unfortunately my voice comes through as seriously male! That's one area which will need some improvement.

More later...

Mandy

6 comments:

  1. Women relate to women differently than the relate to men. It is generally acceptable for a woman to touch another woman but not a man and you really have to be careful if you are a man who gratuitously touches another man or a woman.
    It is nice that you were perceived as just another woman in the doctor's office.
    Pat

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    1. Yes, it was a very pleasant surprise. Things like that are wonderfully affirming! And being in androgynous mode makes it even nicer...

      Mandy

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  2. I think your "experience" with the other woman did mean she accepted you in her world-if not as genetic then at least trans and that's OK too!
    A woman's touch is one of the mysteries of nature and one many females never "learn"!

    I have "toured" a couple of the private rail cars several years ago and they are wonderful!

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    1. Thanks! That experience really did "make my day!"

      In DC's Union Station, there are usually a few of them on "National Train Day" and folks form lines to go through them. They really are beautiful...and they cost mega-bucks to own and operate. Best as a business entertainment write off.

      Cheers,

      Mandy

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  3. Are you having glitches with your blog. I noticed that thee are links on both Marian's page and Cyrstie's to a new entry titled "Some things you just can't see anymore".
    I was going to send you a private email but realized I did not have your email address. If you would want me to be able to reach you on email you can email to me a scalesman at live dot com.
    Regards,
    Pat

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    1. No, there's not a problem with the blog...that may have been "operator failure." Or a problem with Blogger.

      I thought I clicked "save" to a new post by that name...and all of a sudden the draft was gone. Instead, it was posted...in incomplete format. So I reverted it to draft status...which is where it is right now. Didn't realize it would show up on the linked blogs...sorry about the confusion. But like MacArthur, it will return.

      I've added quite a bit to it, and am still adding. It should be ready for re-posting in the next day or two.

      Thanks for bringing it to my attention, so I could post an explanation!

      Mandy

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