Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Part 4...last day & main event!

When I was at Red Lobster Friday evening, in my skirt and heels,  I noticed that a woman with two older kids, sitting in a booth across the aisle and two rows down from me, kept glancing my way.  I kept checking to see if my napkin had slid off my lap, or my legs had automatically drifted apart at the knees.  Both negative.  She looked vaguely familiar.

Segue to Sunday afternoon (immediately after being addressed as "Ma'am" in the presence of my booth-partner by several of my customers).   I made a run to my car with a couple of purchases.  A few minutes later, I'm walking back to my booth,  saying hi to some of the attendees and dealers in that row.  As I smiled and said hi to the lady sitting in her booth, she smiled back, motioned me over, and asked me how I liked the shrimp at Red Lobster Friday night.  Say what????  At that moment it struck me...this was the lady who kept "checking me out" in Red Lobster! 

Before I had a chance to say anything, she said "You're like me, aren't you, dear?  Remember, your secret is totally safe with us"  (meaning her and her two kids - both were sitting there.)   I went absolutely speechless as this unfolded - both her conversation and my speechlessness were something I've never experienced before.  "OMG, OMG, OMG..." doesn't adequately cover the thoughts racing through my mind at "warp speed"...

"I've been observing you here at the show, for the last 3 years.  But nothing helped me to feel comfortable talking with you - I didn't want to invade your private space.  At least not until Red Lobster Friday night.  I'm so happy that we both chose to eat there at the same time,  Now we can finally meet and talk!"

My brain started processing data again.  Slowly...   I said "But I was dressed a bit differently than I am now."  "You were dressed the way you really want to be.   I noticed what you were wearing when you arrived here Friday - you walked past my table several times.  And you looked very nice - you should dress that way more often."

"But I..."  Before I finished my sentence, she started: "Sweetie, maybe you don't realize that you looked like a casual woman when you arrived Friday.  You didn't have a stitch of men's clothing on - those stirrup leggings with pantyhose and your girly flats were cute, and perfectly feminine.  (In retrospect, I was surprised she didn't mention my heavy makeup job, with the faded remains of lipstick from visiting Mom that morning - it took 2 makeup remover sheets to remove it all, when I went to bed!)  Again today, you look like you aren't wearing anything from the men's department, except perhaps your coat.   Remember, I notice these things."  (She was precisely right...everything except my coat was womenswear.)

Wow...her trans-dar was functioning at 100%! 

"You probably don't realize this, but I've transitioned.  I've been through it all,  many years ago.  I used to be (insert her former male name here).  And now and forevermore I'm (insert her female name here) and she pointed to her name tag.  My gender markers have been changed to female.  I'm on HRT and my breasts are real. And I'm happier than I've ever been.  The way I see you, you've transitioned too.  You're the perfect everyday lady here at the show."

Thankfully the selling day was just about over...   I stood there, riveted to the floor, talking with her for about 15 minutes.  It was like two old friends finally meeting in person, after not seeing each other in 30 years.  She asked what my male name had been...my real name is now female, and she thought I'd transitioned.   When I pointed to my name badge...she was the one surprised.  I told her "I hated my name as a kid.  But now...I love it.  If I ever manage to transition, I'm hoping to keep my name and perhaps just legally eliminate the 'Junior' which you don't see.  Since Dad (whom I'm named after) passed away 17 years ago, I don't go by the Jr. designation any more, except on legal documents.  But it's there, and as a girl - I wish it weren't."

I told her that I'm married and not planning to alter that. However my wife is not accepting of my wearing dresses or skirts in public, which is not likely to change any time soon.  So I wear them when I'm traveling alone.  "What you see of me 'is what it is.'"

We talked some more. I learned that she and her wife stayed together through transition, and they are still together.  That's rare and refreshing. Their kids (both male) are OK with having two moms...and are well-versed in things transgender. (They sure didn't look at me like I had eight eyes or something.)

Since it was near day's end, and time to start packing, we said our farewells and I returned to my table, still somewhat dazzled by the turn of events.  Twice I wrote down my email address on a scrap of paper, and twice I threw it away.  Finally I wrote it down again, walked back to her table and handed it to her.  She beamed...and immediately sent me a test email from her smart phone.  I said I'd reply when I got home.

Back at my table, I started packing...absent-mindedly as my mind was wandering.  I went past her table on the next to last trip out, we hugged tightly...and both said "let's keep in touch."  They live a distance from DC - takes them 5 or 6 hours to get home.   So it's unlikely that we'll be able to meet up anywhere.  But we now have a new common interest to talk about...and both have a new friendship to develop for next year!

When I got home...everything was fine, until I started to relate plans to my wife, for me to dress up with several others at the show.  Guess what appeared?  "NMH" syndrome.  Yes, a serious case of "Not My Husband!"  So, discretion being the better part of valor, and not being sure how much of it was a reflection of a bad toothache I found that she had, I dropped the topic for now, and will revisit it later.   Tantalizingly near, yet so far away!

But, if I were a betting girl, I'd say that most likely, the witch idea is dead on arrival...there are too many folks at the show who know us both. Reports about proceeding with those plans in a venue that public would find their way back home at some point, in some unforeseen manner, if I proceed without her assistance.  There are too many smart phones and vidcams around.  Showing up on the telly, or as a cover photo in a news publication, in a witch's dress and hat is not something I'd want to risk.

Instead, I'll probably settle for Friday's outfit - stirrup pants, blouse and flats, but going out to dinner completely dressed with heels, afterward.  They're both female outfits, and I'd be undeniably public.  Just not spectacular enough to be newsworthy, thus relatively private.  No 6PM news exposure! 

No matter how I dress, it's such a joy to be a girl!



  1. Mandy,

    Wow that is an amazing turn of events. You have now met and had the opportunity to get to know two people who share your interest in the DC event and with whom you can share your interests in dressing in woman's clothing.

    The witch outfit worked for him since he was able to combine his desire to dress with the Halloween event. That is almost always a safe bet as long as the outfit is enough of a costume to be perceived as a costume. His attention to the details of his costume, especially the time and energy and expense he put into his nails shows a very deep level of commitment. Clearly the two of you can have detailed discourse on nails. I hope that you gave him the address of this website.

    The woman from the RL has made an even deeper commitment to her transition and is a new special friend who has been connected to the T community for a long time. She is blessed in many ways. She is obviously perfectly passable since it took a bit for you to realize she was a 'T'. She has a loving and stable and accepting family situation but having walked the walk she can understand what your situation is like.

    The best sentence from your several days of postings was her quote "You're the perfect everyday lady here at the show."

    She made a good note of your stirrup pant outfit and the fact that none of your clothes, save the overcoat, came from the men's department. For next year if the show includes Halloween you may be able to wear a woman's costume but on the other days a ladies blouse with stirrups, pantyhose and flats will do. You may be able to wear some of your capris with pantyhose and flats. I am glad that she found you and that you had this nice conversation. She seemed genuinely interested in you and she may appreciate getting to know more about you through reading this blog.

    I really understand the NMH syndrome. I suspect that your wife has long been concerned with your gradual manifestation of your feminine side. She will accept some aspects of these developments and resist others. She knows that on any given day a stranger is more likely to address you as a woman than a man but to have you in a skirt and heels while out with people who may know her is, at least for now, a bridge too far.

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful post.


    1. You're quite welcome... I really enjoy writing about my experiences. If my blogs help one person - somewhere - at some point, then my efforts were worth it.

      It will be a while till I broach the subject of the witch costume, or wearing skirts, with my wife again. But I'm already planning an alternative, which will be the "everyday woman" approach for Friday and on Halloween itself, with jean leggings on Sunday for the trip home. It would not be a costume, just my regular clothes. They went over OK on Friday this year... I do like your idea of capris and flats for Halloween. But the temperature can't be outrageously low...if you know what I mean!

      Incidentally, Halloween falls on Saturday of the show next year. Since the Halloween party at the nursing home will be on Saturday, I won't be able to go to Mom's in a skirt. :-(

      I was really pleased to meet both new folks...and will keep in touch with them. Looking forward to learning more about this characteristic (transgenderism - if that's a word) that we all share here.

      And how true your statement is, that our women accept or tolerate some aspects of our gradual manifestation of femininity, but resist others. And right now, having me in a skirt is a huge bridge for her to cross. Fortunately, I can wait...

      Bye for now...


  2. It sounds like you just about died at the start of her conversation with you - that must have been a heart pounding moment!

    But that it went so completely well from that point must have shot you into the stratosphere of good fortune? What an incredible experience to have!

    I'm sure you have a new friend in the making here. So nice to read this - thank you for sharing it!

    1. It was a surreal experience, one I'll treasure forever! Doesn't get much better than that...even if the friendship never develops, the day was one of the highlights of my TG life so far!

      And you're welcome...I hope I have more good experiences to share!


  3. Needless to say, Mandy, quite the experience!
    How cool is it that she was secure enough with you to come out of her stealth to talk with you!
    Times are a changin!

    1. Yes indeed, Cyrsti...and I was privileged to be a part of it! I truly was fortunate!