Wednesday, November 7, 2012

"Sheesh, you guys are all alike - wanting us in high heels and short dresses."

Finally it's my annual out-of-town weekend at an antique show, where I'm "recycling" (translation - unloading) a bunch of things we no longer need.  At these shows I usually am able to go to dinner en femme one night.  But with my most recent wardrobe adjustments, this time things worked out much better than I had expected.

It all began with my suitcase receiving some unknown and unseen packing assistance the day before I left. Then on departure day, the better half set out my "suggested" departure day's outfit while I was in the shower:  a pair of denim jeggings, pantyhose, and one of Mom's turtlenecks, with my clogs.  That was pretty much what I had planned to wear...    But as I was leaving the house, with my suitcase already irretrievably buried under an SUV-load of articles for the sale, she mentioned "You should be very careful about spilling anything on your clothes today.  What you're wearing is the least feminine outfit you're taking along, and that's your incentive to be more careful."

She confessed that she had repacked my suitcase yesterday, so "you'll look your best all weekend.  You'll be able to wear what you have on for Saturday and Sunday as well, if you're very careful.  You'll find two plastic bags, labeled "Dinner Friday" and "Dinner Saturday" in there and the stirrup outfits are for dinner each day.  If you choose to not wear them, you risk spilling on your daytime outfit...but that's your decision.  In case the inevitable happens, I've added two extra outfits for you, in plastic bags labeled "Day Wear Saturday" and "Day Wear Sunday." Each bag contains pantyhose and one of your Mom's color-coordinated stirrup outfits. The ladies you know at the show would find it very appropriate that you've chosen to honor her generosity by actually wearing her hand-me-downs."

"So, if you mess up your clothes like you did on vacation, your "reward" this time will be wearing stirrups and ballerinas all day at the show, as well as to dinner.  I consider it a reward because not only will you look pretty, you'll be introducing your new attire to many people, and preparing them for your dressing in even more feminine outfits next year. By the way, if you end up in reward mode, don't even think about wearing clogs with your stirrups, instead of ballerinas - that combination doesn't look good, and the girls will probably point it out to you."

Then came a big surprise,  totally out of the blue - and one which I would never have expected.  "Here's a heads-up on something in your future. Though I haven't made a final decision on it yet, and probably won't till next summer, I've been contemplating having you start wearing only dresses or skirts.  If I decide I'm ready for that to happen, we'll go shopping for you next July or August, for somewhere between 7 and 14 stylish women's outfits, and have them altered to fit properly.  Just so you know, I'm planning on using our clothing budget for the next couple years 'now' to make sure it will be at least 14.  That may also require a few visits to the thrift shop...   Since fall sales are usually under way by then, it'll keep costs down, and  you may actually find yourself the proud owner of as many as 21 different dress and skirt outfits.  Won't that be fabulous?"

My response was muted...."Yeah, I think so.."

"'If' the process actually begins (or maybe it's 'when,' I truly don't know yet), you'll be wearing your new wardrobe every day, starting the day before you leave for next November's show.  That's because you'll be assigned an important task that day, your very first day in dresses.  First thing after breakfast,  you and I will pack up a big plastic bag with all your remaining pants, shorts and capri's (yes, I know I earlier exempted them from disposal, but I changed my mind), except for your Mom's hand-me-down stirrups.  Together we'll take them to the charity shop, where you'll be the one to actually count the contents with the clerk.  I'll watch and you, in your pretty new dress and and new patent ballerinas, conversing with the clerk about your donation if she should ask questions about why you're voluntarily giving up your pants!  That'll definitely be a Kodak Moment...I'll be taking lots of pictures, so you'll always be able to remember how pretty you looked on your first errand on your first day in dresses!"

I blushed...beet red...while asking if I'd still be able to wear Mom's stirrup outfits.

"Good question, sweetie. Yes, you'll initially be wearing them, but only for her visits, and only for a few weeks.  Then I'll put you in dresses and skirts for three or four visits, or maybe a week.  We'll see how well she handles it.  If she likes your new appearance, and I'm sure she will, from then on, no more pants.  You'll make a second visit at the charity shop, to finish donating the last few pairs!  In addition to giving us a tax deduction, those donations will also guarantee that you'll never be able to "back pedal" into pants, since you won't own any, and mine won't fit you.  After spending a small fortune buying you a complete women's wardrobe of skirts and dresses, plus the accessories, you'll be wearing and enjoying them for a long time to come."

So I asked "Can't I hang on to a couple pairs, for times I need to look less feminine?"   "Why on earth would a girl need to look less feminine?  Most everyone can see your basic femininity - hair, nails, waxed eyebrows, hairless arms and legs - already.  Once you're in dresses, I'll want you to look more feminine, all the time. Period.  You'll dress, look, and act like a girl.  So, no, you won't be keeping any pants."

"By the way, I plan to appropriate several pairs of your newest, cutest capri's, and alter them to fit me.  Your "loss" can be my "gain" - it's less expensive than my buying new capri's.  They're pants, but they'll help me be a bit more feminine.  Whenever I wear them, you'll probably recognize them as formerly being yours.  You can always feel free to remind me that they used to be yours!  However, don't even think about trying to get them back, sweetie. They won't fit you any more!  These are a few of the minor details and "rules of the road" we'll review later, after you've had a chance to experience life in dresses for a few weeks."

"Don't look so shocked over all this...if it happens, I know you're going to love it." My response was, "But what if I don't?"  She replied, "Since you'll be wearing skirts or dresses every day, whether you like it or not, as time goes on you'll simply get used to being feminine.  And trust me, it's not so bad....half the population is female!"

"Once we've started buying your new dresses, you must realize that your wardrobe WILL be changing.  You'll permanently lose the privilege of wearing pants starting in November of 2013.  I just can't let you confuse our friends and neighbors by switching apparent genders willy-nilly.  And then there's the matter of the money we spend for your new girly things - once we've started buying them, you'll just have to wear them."

"So for the time being, be patient, enjoy wearing those stirrups and capri's while you still can, and please don't bug me about my decision on this.  Asking -  even once - between now and the time I discuss it with you again next summer, will assure your future in dresses.  Instead, think about all the positive benefits a pretty new wardrobe would have for you, how many new female friends you'll gain, and realize that once it happens,  you may need several months of practice to feel totally at ease socially, as a woman. But in any case,  'the new you' WILL look fabulous while you learn!"

"Think about what you see girls wearing.  Skirts are perfect all year around.  Just-above-the-knee skirts of various fabrics are modest, and appropriate for everywhere you go, particularly in Fall, Winter or Spring.  During the summer, girls look much cuter showing off their legs in casual denim mini-skirts than shorts and capri's...and so will you, come the summer of 2014. You'll have so much more fun at car shows, sporting a mini skirt and flip flops, like other girls.   I know how much you love wearing house dresses around the house and yard.   So, you're part way to your goal already.  Meeting new people, selling things at shows, vacationing, touring, and socializing with your (and our) friends, all while wearing skirts and dresses, heels, nail color and full war paint, should be a complete non-issue.  And in the event any consulting jobs come your way, your knowledge is the same, whatever your presentation.  Dresses and heels will be professional enough that you'll look just like any other working woman."

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you all dolled up for your first party, wearing a short-but-classy evening dress and sexy stiletto high heel sandals, with beautiful red nails all around, matching lipstick, and your long hair fresh from a morning with Jessie at the salon, sprayed and pinned into a glamorous, girly up-do!  Another big step forward and another Kodak Moment, so we can both remember how nice you looked!"

"You'll soon come to realize that losing your pants is not actually a loss.  Instead, it's a big gain - you'll develop a much more attractive, feminine appearance and personality.  You'll eventually get used to dealing with your daily makeup routine, and showing off those legs 7 days a week, all year around - whether they're bare, with rubber flip-flops and painted toes under your mini-skirts, in sheer nylons and ballerinas or heels any time of year, or in opaque tights and booties under your dresses for additional warmth when you're shoveling snow or otherwise must be out in wintry weather.  And you're absolutely going to love the freedom skirts and dresses give you - the only way to describe it is that it feels like you're almost naked in public, but in reality, you're appropriately clothed!"

I blushed again...even redder this time.  "Sweetie, if your cheeks always flush that much, and stay that way once you're in dresses, it'll mean less time applying your makeup!"  And, my blushing continued even after she reminded me that it's the last we'll talk about this till she decides next summer, and promptly changed the subject...
So, I won't even begin to contemplate next November...since wearing dresses may, or may not, happen.  And I'm not going to inquire at all - that way she can make the decision.   In the past, things have often "heated up" like this, then melted away just as suddenly.  But if not, November 2013 could be my time to transition...I'll find out next summer.  If it happens, she becomes the one "wearing the pants in our family."  Time will tell.       
Right now I 'm just concentrating on "not" spilling anything on my clothes any time or place...  In years past at the show,  I've already been reminded by men that I should be using the women's room.  Wearing outfits like these would probably mean I'd have to use the women's room - and since some of the folks know me, that might be a problem unless I'm fully dressed.  Like next year?


 Here's how I looked for dinner Friday night...yes, I love wearing this outfit!

A self-portrait - the rich colors in this blouse are gorgeous!  No wonder the better half included it.  And "blue is for boys" certainly doesn't apply in this case.  My eyebrows got waxed recently, and my tech told me afterward that she shaped them to look good with the stirrups and ballerinas I was wearing at the shop that day.   Translation - nice and thin, just like a girl's!

Ready for dinner Friday evening.  No way these legs belong to a guy...

Saturday morning at breakfast I managed to spill some scrambled eggs on my turtleneck and denims...but cleaned them up quickly, with no major stains.  That was a close call!!  At the restaurant, there was also some confusion over the signature on my bill for breakfast, and the clerk ended up calling my room for "the lady who just ate breakfast there. " I gave my name, and said I'd be right down to straighten it out...  Another Miss-identification!

As Saturday wound down at the show, a couple of the guys I know invited me out to dinner, as usual.  We always have a nice evening, and agreed to meet in front of the hotel, after showering and changing clothes, to go find a restaurant nearby. Shortly after getting back to my room, I remembered I'll be wearing stirrups and a blouse for dinner...there's no way I'm going to risk staining my clothes tonight and ending up in one of Mom's outfits all day tomorrow. Since I don''t have any choice but to look girlie tonight, I figured I might as well do my makeup, too, and make myself look as pretty and feminine as possible for the guys.  But they probably won't even notice, since it'll be dark when we meet!

Here I am, ready to go for dinner with the guys Saturday night.  How do I look? 

As I was putting on my makeup and lipstick, I wondered why I was given two pairs of tan stirrups.  I'll have to ask when I get home!  (The better half's response was: "Because you look attractive in them.  Don't worry, you'll get to spend lots of time in those outfits this winter.")   Before going downstairs, I snapped the above picture for this blog... and then went to the elevator.  Much to my shock, the guys were waiting for me right at the elevator door,  instead of out front in the dark.  And, with plenty of light in the hallway, even these two typically-oblivious males did a double-take.  There was no way they could avoid noticing my apparent new gender.

Both smiled broadly.  One told me that I make a very attractive girl, looking probably 10 years younger than I did at the show.  And the other said "I didn't realize we were going out to dinner with a lady...but you look pretty, so it's fine.  You really should dress this way every day - it makes a major improvement in your appearance!" Gee, thanks guys - I think!

Then off we went - the driver took me by the arm, escorted me to the car, and helped me into the back seat.  They took the front seat. One of them noticed my engagement ring, pronounced it beautiful, and asked if wearing it helps to fend off the guys... My answer was "Yes it does.  In my younger days, I never approached a girl wearing an engagement ring." They agreed that they didn't either.   There was no more discussion about my attire, except I noticed that the guys arranged for me to sit between them at the table, and they cleaned up their language a lot.  Was it my appearance?  Or maybe the engagement ring?  (You can see it in the photo.)

Our female server Miss-identified me for the entire visit, but that wasn't a real surprise - it happens all the time.  I think the guys enjoyed having dinner with what-appeared-to-be-a-girl, and we talked about the same things we would have if we were three guys, not two guys and a gal!  Unfortunately, they were "cheap dates", and didn't buy my dinner...the server was even surprised that the guys made their girlfriend buy her own dinner!  But in any event, it was an exciting evening, even with me unavoidably stuck in girl mode.

The guys' parting comment was: "Next year, will you be wearing dresses and heels to the show, instead of pants? You'd look very pretty in them..." I responded "Thanks for the encouragement! Yes,  I'll be here next year, so come see me, then we'll both know. And if I am, you guys better plan on buying my dinner both Friday and Saturday nights!" "OK, It's a date, then! Just make sure you're wearing high heels, with your dress above your knees!" I laughed, and replied "Sheesh, you guys are all alike - wanting us in high heels and short dresses.  How on earth do you expect me to know what dresses I'll wear?  Maybe I haven't bought them!  So, we'll all have to wait and see, OK?" As we got on the elevator to go upstairs, I blushed deep red at what I had just said - my answer would have been  perfect, coming from a girl!  And as the guys got off on their respective floors, each gave me a good-night hug, putting that bright red back on my cheeks again... Thankfully we were alone on the elevator.

When I got back to the room, my blushing had subsided, so I tried another self-portrait.  Unfortunately, this one didn't turn out nearly as well as the last one!

So as of Saturday night, it looks like I've made it through the weekend without messing up my original outfit...or either of my stirrup outfits...and that's a good thing!  I'm not going to eat anything sloppy for lunch on the last day, so I shouldn't have to change in the men's room and spend the rest of the day at my table, looking like a girl without makeup.  Trying to apply makeup in the men's room would be way too embarrassing....

Sunday morning went well, and when I got dressed, I took the initiative to pack my clogs and wear my ballerinas...which was a noticeable clue to the ladies that I was wearing feminine clothes.  In fact, a couple of girls wanted to know what brand of shoes I was wearing!  And when I got home, the better half was so pleased to find me wearing them on my own, that she handed me a package containing another pair, for me to break in and then wear for dressy occasions.  I suspect I made a few brownie points....


  1. Mandy
    You surely have an interesting blog and an interesting life. I wish you well.
    I am 60 and several years from retirement. I had hoped to be done by 62 but the economy has been a killer and I have no pension other than what I can save.
    My wife knows that I would like to get out while dressed but she is concerned with possible embarassment. I am slowly getting to spend more and more time in full or partial girl mode but I have a long way to go. Getting a salon visit and a mani/pedi are on the list.
    Good luck as you proceed. I am sure that you will do well with skirts and dresses as well as heels.
    Be well and thank you for writing your blog.

  2. Thanks, Pat!

    I enjoy writing about my experiences, and just hope some of what I cover is of interest to you and the other girls. There haven't been many comments, so I appreciate your writing!

    I'm 64, and retired about a year. It's a shame the economy is still in the dumps...hopefully it will recover soon and you can see your way clear to retire! It makes this pursuit a little easier.

    My wife has gotten more tolerant of my sartorial style over the past few years. She used to get very embarrassed and blush furiously every time we'd be addressed as ladies, with me in feminine clothes like above, or when men would hold the door for us. Slowly that situation's been changing for the better, and I've been looking more and more feminine as a result.

    Now it looks like I may find myself in dresses full-time.
    And I'm kind of hoping it works out that way, though I'll have to protest a little, just on general principles! But if it actually happens, she'll pretty much be calling the shots. So it may be my turn to be embarrassed and blush for a least till I get my act together and can carry myself socially as a woman. It's not all about the clothes! I guess "turnabout's fair play", isn't it?!

    She's surely right about one thing: it probably will take me several months before I'm comfortable in the female social role.

    A salon visit and mani/pedi are a great first step in your search for some girl time. You'll probably feel more than a bit out of place, and self-conscious, the first couple appointments. But hang in there, you'll love the attention! Hopefully your wife will let you get color at least on your the winter, it's easy to cover them up!

    You be well, too...and I wish you all the best, especially if you celebrate Thanksgiving...Happy Turkey Day! Please keep in touch.



  3. Hi -

    You'll love being in dresses and skirts.... They are very comfortable to say the least - especially in hot weather. What I find to be a drawback in the cooler weather is hosiery - as a big person, I wear the largest size hosiery and I invariably ruin my pantyhose/tights way too soon because they don't go up far enough. I don't believe any of the statements that one can use them as underwear - I still need a good foundation undergarment to do that and hold mr. happy in....

    With that being said, I am envious of you being in retirement and having the money and time to live this way. One of my goals is to get to retirement and to avoid the use of my male wardrobe except with family. If I remember right, you have one son. How did he react to your cross over?

    I'd love to meet you at next year's Fantasia Fair (if you go to such things). Right now, I'm planning on next year's vacation(s), while I still have the money to take them. Hopefully, that will remain true for next year, and the years to come....


  4. Hi Marian,

    Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate hearing from my friends!!!!

    You’re right that I’ll love being in skirts and dresses – but not only in the summertime, all year around. Pants seem so totally confining. Deep down, I really hope she decides it’s time for me to “lose the privilege of wearing pants”...that way she can’t feel I’m forcing it on her.

    Since my real first name has become a common name for contemporary females, if it happens, I don’t even need to change my name! Just put on dresses, heels and makeup, and go about my business....the only thing to be dealt with is the little “M” on various should be “F”! But that’s for later.

    As for undergarments: I’m a size 20 to 22 girl (or 1X, depending on whose chart I use), and I’ve been very lucky to get along nicely so far, wearing Just My Style plus size pantyhose with feminine panty pads. My doctor (female) has instructed me to wear only pantyhose, for increased circulation in my legs. The better half said I might find wearing pads helpful, got me the right ones, and they seem to work nicely.

    It was very fortunate that I could retire when I did...they were cleaning house of a lot of older employees and I suspect I might have been on the short list for redundancy, especially since I was wearing girly pants and shoes at work. New hires get paid a lot less, too, you know! Hopefully your employer isn’t like that...

    In answer to your question: our son has seen me in everything in my blog except skirts and some of the more femme blouses. I’m in house dresses at home, and he’s fine with it. I’ve worn all my femme pants and other tops around him. Same with shoes and sandals. No issue. He works in the entertainment industry and probably has seen it all before.

    I’d certainly love to meet you, too...and start attending Fantasia Fair or other such get-togethers. It would be fun, educational, and great to meet others like yourself, with this same ‘hobby.” Getting out with others would be fun But up to now, I haven’t participated at all...previously the better half was an issue, then work, now money.

    After next November, we can hope that may be able to change!



  5. Mandy -

    If you were near the NYC area, it'd be easy to meet... If we meet, I'd love to meet your other half - she sounds like an interesting lady.

    My employer is as bad as it sounds. So I don't expect to be there past the end of 2013. With that being said, I'm getting as much experience going out in the world en-femme, and have recently picked up a vocal class from a speech therapist to help me develop a female voice for my time in Marian mode.

    I'm a size 3x - and it is hard to shop. Yet, it's easier to shop for a woman than it is for a guy my size, with the exception of shoes and hosiery. I can get the shoes online, but I still have issues with hosiery. I'm thinking of going old school, and using a garter belt with appropriate stockings. That will feel very sexy....


  6. Hi Marian,

    I don't get up to NYC, so unless I get to attend any of the Fantasia Fair type get-togethers that you attend, we may not meet in person any time soon. But it would surely be fun!

    I know what you mean about big guys being hard to shop for...last time I tried on guy shirts, even those many years ago, I had problems getting a good combination of sleeve length, chest size and neck size. If the chests fit me, the necks didn't! That hasn't been a problem with blouses and women's turtlenecks!

    Thinking about garter belts and stockings...that really does sound sexy!!!! You go, girl!



  7. Mandy -

    I know - you're probably on the other end of the Mid-Atlantic states.

    Considering what I've read in your blog, you hould seriously consider giving up the pants now, and get into a nice comfortable dress. Does your other half read your blog? If I could spend the week on vacation, not bothering with a pair of pants - a full time person like you should start enjoying the comfort of dresses and skirts full time as well....

    In many ways, I'm envious of you, in part because your wife has accepted this part of you. I'm even more surprized that your mom would like to see you in a dress. Go for it!!!!!


  8. Hi Marian,

    Right on...I’m in Maryland, much closer to DC than NY, with little opportunity to get to NY ☹ But maybe someday...

    In answer to your question, no, the better half doesn’t read blogs, or do much with computers. Thankfully! I can do the blogs on my laptop and not have to be quite so careful in “covering my tracks”.

    Don’t think it’s been easy to get to this stage, hon. There have been many years of patiently “pushing the envelope,” and having each step forward be turned back at me, sometimes with angst, for a while… Stirrups and tights or pantyhose originally were only for wintertime outdoor use. Slowly as she grew more accustomed to seeing me in them, they became the mainstay of my wardrobe. (The doctor’s recommendation that I wear pantyhose helped a lot, too.) I finally started to wear stirrups and flats to work not long before I retired. Capri pants became my cute summer alternative to stirrups, mainly because she suggested them. That’s why I’ve generally let events take care of themselves, and it’s usually worked out ok.

    If she ultimately decides that now’s the time for me to “lose the privilege of wearing pants” and to start wearing dresses or skirts every day, then it won’t cause issues with her (nor with me…LOL) And if it doesn’t happen right now, that doesn’t mean it won’t in the near future. Past history says it’s likely to. I’m a patient girl! The point here is that my 25+ year marriage still comes first…

    Mom has had no problems with me dressing the way I do now – it’s second nature to her. She’s really pleased that I’m wearing her old stirrup outfits, which no longer fit her. When she still lived alone at home, periodically when I’d visit her (a half hour drive away) I’d just get in the car wearing my a sweater over my housedress and go over there to visit. She was always worried about what would happen if she had to go out with me that day, or if the car broke down while I was wearing a dress. My response was that I’d use her makeup before going out, and clerks (or the the AAA guy) would treat me nicely, just as they would any other woman. I’m not totally convinced that she’ll accept me in dresses at this point. But I guess time will tell!

    You spent a week in dresses? Now, that’s REALLY exciting! I generally get only an evening or partial day… Did you write about it in a blog somewhere? Tell me more…I’m all ears!!!!



  9. Mandy -

    Here's my blog....

    I was in dresses for 5 days in SF in September. No, I didn't write as much about it as I should have - I'd have liked to capture my feelings when I drove away from the safety of SF to the unknowns of Monterrey and of Sacramento - even more so, considering that I had a very warm reception in Sacramento, where I was worried most....

    At this point, I realized that there was not much left to fear - and really started to relax. And it was fun - especially when I bought the LBD that I wore to dinner at Fantasia Fair. And now, I'm very surprized at how much female clothing I've bought in the last year - I almost have a full year-round wardrobe.

    Now, I plan to get down to DC again during Cherry Blossom Festival time. If our schedules can be synchronized, we might be able to meet. (I found a bookstore with both a bar and what appears to be a restaurant in back in the Dupont Circle area - it might be a perfect place to meet....) This next visit, I plan to travel there en-femme. I'm not sure if I'll drive, or take the train and then rent a car - I want to see the Air and Space museum goodies near Dulles.


  10. Hi Marian,

    Wow, nice blog! I now have lots of back reading to catch up on!

    There's a possibility that I might be able to make it to DC. If you get the test email I sent, please respond and we can see if it will work (though I'd of necessity look like in my recent pictures!)