On our recent vacation to Yellowstone National Park, my suitcase was packed with Capri and stirrup pants, Keds and various tops. This was a perfect combination, with the promise of maximizing my chances of being "Miss-identified." Fortunately, it often had the desired result!
Denim Capri pants with pantyhose (not a fashion statement, but just plain comfortable) and turtlenecks were perfect for cold mornings and cool days. It was a bit chilly at nearly 8,000 feet of elevation, hence the jacket:
Lightweight white Capri pants, or white stirrups, with short sleeve tops were just right for warmer climates, like Salt Lake City. Keds, both lace-up black, and slip-on white, were my only shoes. For possible use in cooler weather, there were several pairs of dark stirrups, which came with a history. Or maybe more appropriately, a "her-story. They formerly were worn by my mother, but no longer fit her when she went into the nursing home.
Since they were still in great condition, my better half simply put them in my closet, along with some of Mother's turtleneck blouses, instead of the charity box from cleaning out and selling her house. I've recognized and managed to avoid wearing them up to now, and I'm not really sure why. But she insisted that I pack them, since I'd "be needing to wear them." And it turned out that she was exactly right. Wonder how she knew it would happen that way?
On the train enroute home one morning, I discovered that the only pairs of clean pants left in my suitcase were Mother's stirrups. With no other choice, I put them on, and found that I loved the way they felt. The better half smiled knowingly: "I thought you'd like them! See what you've been missing? You really should have been wearing these all along - that slim fit and high stirrup arches make your legs so long and attractive. But you'll look even better once you're wearing skimmers or ballet flats, which will keep your bare ankles, insteps, and heels on full-time display, as intended by their designer. I just wish you'd bought some skimmers on your own initiative..."
Anyone want to bet AGAINST my shoes becoming skimmers or ballet flats for our whole next vacation? Or even, bet AGAINST them soon being my everyday shoes? To me, neither bet would be safe...
Back to our memorable vacation travels: it was wonderful to be addressed as female, and that happened over half the time, whenever we were away
from the tour groups in which we participated. The better half took it
well, and amazingly, that particular topic was never mentioned in any discussion. She seems to be getting accustomed to my being recognized as a woman.
I learned - quite quickly - that I need to respond as automatically and quickly to
"Miss", "Ma'am" and most recently "Hey
Lady" as I used to for "Sir" - back in the day when that was the more appropriate greeting! This important fact came to light as I was out of the car, wandering around the Roosevelt Arch at the Yellowstone entrance in Gardiner, MT taking pictures, with nobody else around, or so I thought. I heard "Hey Lady...Hey, Lady!" I turned around to face the caller, about 20 feet away. "Honey, you need to walk over there right now, and get a good picture of the elk family." So now, I respond quickly - regardless of the gender used to address me!
And yes, I got a picture of Mr. Elk, relaxing in the shade....
Mrs. Elk and Baby Elk were both nearby as well. Though they were a bit shy - hiding in the shade of a picnic pavilion, I got a picture of both. Needless to say, I thanked the gentleman profusely...
And yes, I got a picture of Mr. Elk, relaxing in the shade....
Mrs. Elk and Baby Elk were both nearby as well. Though they were a bit shy - hiding in the shade of a picnic pavilion, I got a picture of both. Needless to say, I thanked the gentleman profusely...
This trip, I
seldom had to open a door for myself...or for the two of us. Men were
automatically doing their duty for us....and it was fabulous. However, applying makeup on a moving train was tough, and after the first day, I simply didn't wear it, for the rest of the trip...just a close shave and some light lipstick.
Needless to say, "girly is good." And it was one fine and memorable vacation!
Now to "after we got back home". Day before yesterday, my better half "suggested" that I wear one of Mom's stirrup-and-turtleneck outfits and flats to visit her at the nursing home. Couldn't think of a valid reason not to, the weather was certainly cool enough. I generally go along with "suggestions" since it isn't usually worth arguing. So, I just put them on. The staff is used to my girly things, since that's all they've ever seen. But, I enjoyed so many positive comments about my new feminine finery (Mom's gray stirrups and red turtleneck, my black flats and purse, with a lightweight black jacket casually tied around my waist, looking almost like a skirt) that I'll be wearing them often - on my own!
Much to my shock, when Mother saw me, she instantly recognized her stirrups and blouse! At first I thought she might be upset, but then in front of the aide who was sorting her laundry, she said "it's wonderful that you're enjoying my old clothes, and I'm amazed that they fit you perfectly. But you look so nice that, instead of my pants, I'd really love to see you wearing my dresses and skirts - there's so much wear left in them. And, with your long hair and pretty nails, they'd be a natural on you."
"My skirts and blouses would be perfect for you to wear around the house, for shopping, and on vacations. Plus, you and your wife socialize a lot. There are some pretty dresses just waiting for you to wear them out to dinner, and you'll look gorgeous for your friends at your parties and get-togethers. You'll find some benefits to wearing them. They were all expensive, and paid for by your Father, for the many company parties he took me to, over the years. Though I doubt he'd have figured they'd ever fit you, he'd be pleased that you're going to enjoy them. I found them really comfortable, and you're going to look elegant with a pretty hairdo, appropriate foundations and 4" heels like I used to wear. Dresses are lots of fun...since they make it impossible to hide your nylon'ed legs, you'll find many male heads turning your way. As a girl, you'll love the attention. And dresses are great conversation starters for other women. But you'll learn about those benefits of dresses for yourself, once you're wearing them."
Mom's aide smiled knowingly, and reminded me that retro clothes are right in style now. "Her dresses and skirt outfits would not only look lovely on you, sweetie, but enhance your wardrobe nicely, particularly if you wear some cute heels. You really should be wearing things other than just Capri and stirrup pants with flats. Be bold, and look feminine! I can speak for the other gals here...we'd love to see you model one of your mother's dresses every time you visit." (That entire exchange came as a complete surprise to me!)
The reality is that we shouldn't have many of her clothes left...they mostly went to charity. Mother's forgotten that a lot of them dated way back to when she wore a size 6 dress. There's not a chance in the world that any would have fit me. But when I reviewed the events of the day with my better half, and in answer to her questions, admitted that I'd like to give it a try, she volunteered to go through Mom's things in our basement again, this time moving into my closet anything that will fit.
"But before I go to all the effort, I just want you to know: if there are as few as two dresses and/or skirts that fit, I think you'll start wearing them out in public, fully made up like other well-dressed women, when we're out of town. Even before I go down to the basement to look, I plan to donate your remaining few women's dress pants. I won't let you wear them any more - your Mom's stirrup outfits have completely replaced them. Her stirrups fit you very well, you always wear them enthusiastically, and they're very attractive on you. For each of Mom's skirts that I locate, your jeans and shorts will be also be donated, at the rate of 4 for every skirt. Finding you as few as five or six skirts will eliminate all of them. But don't worry...you'll still have plenty of stirrups, Capris and Mom's skirts to wear, as well as lots of room in your closet for the stylish new dresses you'll want to buy."
"With all the changes that soon may be happening in your life, don't think for even one second that I'm going to start wearing dresses. Not a chance - this gal just isn't a girly-girl. I'll be sticking with my jeans or slacks and sneakers, thank you very much!" Then she chuckled: "I never thought I'd become the one who wears the pants in our family - but I believe I'm really going to like the idea. As new head of this household, I'll gain at least part of the "male privilege" you're willingly forfeiting by taking on the female role! How about you? Will you enjoy exploring your new feminine place in society? Are you ready for the pluses - and the minuses - of being recognized as a woman?" My response was "I'm really looking forward to all aspects of it. Living a female lifestyle will require big adjustments, and a lot of effort, on my part. But I want to try it."
"Just a second, sweetie. Remember, this isn't a trial run. Once we've met our friends, with you standing beside me in a dress, heeled sandals, and makeup, with bright red finger and toe nails, there will be no turning back. You'll become a woman, permanently. No way will I embarrass myself, or allow you to confuse anyone, by switching back and forth between genders. Our friends will mostly accept you as female, as will the general public, who doesn't know you. And since I'm with the program, you should have no problems living as a woman for the rest of your life."
"In fact, since you're retired, once you assume your new role as a woman, we'll get you involved doing women's community volunteer work for a couple of agencies. They'll keep you busy each weekday! You'll work in dresses or skirts and heels daily, with stirrups or Capri pants on casual Fridays, to establish yourself locally as a civic-minded woman, and build friendships with your female co-workers. You know, do lunches and gossip with the girls, go to hen parties and girls' nights out, etc. Start to have some real fun!"
"Here at home, we'll be sharing some of the "woman's work". Since we're responsible for doing your mother's laundry from the nursing home, you can do all our laundry, as well as her. It's 6 or 7 full loads of wash a week, dried, folded, and put away, with about 3 hours of ironing, and some occasional mending. Each load takes about 90 minutes from start to finish, so doing a load a day after work will keep you current. I'll show you how to do it, and I'll continue to do everything else. That's only fair, right?"
"Plus, I want you to get used to a new womens' style - flirty little mini-skirts over your stirrups, leggings and Capris. I'll buy you some stylish - and very short - mini's, to get you started. Since they're over your Capris, your modesty is protected, but they're adorably girly outfits, which you'll look cute in, and they're totally acceptable anywhere, so you can wear them every time you wear pants if you wish."
"It's fine with me if you continue to maintain and enjoy your antique car, your flea marketing and other hobbies.. It's just that you'll be doing everything as a female, wearing dresses or skirts every day, and mini-skirts over your Capris. Plus, don't forget you'll be responsible for keeping the laundry current." I chuckled as I told her "The laundry can be done of an evening. And wearing dresses at car shows and flea markets isn't a disadvantage at all...I'm often seen as female. Several times the guys have ushered me by the arm out of the men's room line, and put me in line with the girls - who welcomed me! I'll be much more comfortable at summer events in cool, floaty sundresses and rubber flip flops, like other women. I'll fit right in, so bring it on!"
"Mother's stirrup outfits and stirrup leggings are all safe from disposal - permanently - since she likes to see you wear them, and they make your legs look fabulous. In fact, her stirrups, worn with cute skimmers or ballet flats, tucked-in V-neck white fitted sleeveless blouses over amply-padded A-cup foundations and pantyhose, fitted ladies' sport jackets, long silver-painted acrylic fingernails and a handbag or purse, will be the most masculine attire you'll ever own. You'll be seen as a very feminine male whenever ID is required, like the voting booth, DMV, and passport renewal."
"Capri pants and pedal pushers are cute, and also permanently safe from disposal. Yes, they're pants, but they seriously enhance your feminine look and you should have lots of fun wearing them under mini-skirts. The rest of your stirrups are safe for now...till you acquire enough new dresses that you can wear a different one every day for two weeks."
From my own standpoint, in retrospect I never dreamed that I'd end up in Mother's hand-me-downs, and with her total encouragement, no less! Yet, here I am, wearing those very same stirrups and tops that she wore to visit us years ago, as well as to travel and run her daily errands with Dad. HER old stirrup outfits have become an important part of MY everyday wardrobe, that I now wear to visit her in the nursing home. And I might soon be wearing her dresses.
This has take ages to actually occur, but my wish to wear Mother's stirrups outfits has finally come true. And there's a good possibility that I'll end up taking this much farther than I had planned, with the better half's blessing. So, it's a good thing my male given name has become one for females. I won't have to change ID's! Moral of story: be careful what you wish for - it might just happen.
Today (October 2) was bloodwork day at the Doctor's office.
I chose to wear Mom's stirrups outfit again, but this time, with flats... I wanted to see what the effect would be. And as soon as I arrived at the Doctor's office, they addressed me as Ms. Sherman. Not just once, but every single time they spoke to me...by the entire staff.
Whether they truly thought I was female, or were just being politically correct with a transgender patient, I'll never know...but I was in heaven! I prefer to think the former, because the phlebotomist (sp?) complimented my outfit and asked about my purse...she wants to buy one like it. Since my records indicate my born gender, it probably was the latter. But it made my day, week, and is well on the way to making my year!
Well, I told the better half to go ahead and look through the basement for anything of Mother's that will fit me, knowing full well that if there are any, I'm likely to end up a full-time girl. And that really can't be too bad...half the world's population is female!
On Oct. 4th, a pair each, of T-strap women's driving shoes and ballerina flats showed up in UPS today. The box had my name on it, and both pairs were my size. I didn't order them...guess who did? I've been asked to wear them around the house tonight and through the weekend, to make sure "your new shoes fit, since you're going to be spending quite a bit of time in them." And as of Sunday morning the 7th, they really do fit fairly well... I told her that, so today I wore the driving shoes to visit Mother, and tomorrow I've been told to start wearing them, or my new skimmers, every day. "Since you're going to be a girl soon, you'll have to get used to sporting girly shoes every day!"
Needless to say, "girly is good." And it was one fine and memorable vacation!
Now to "after we got back home". Day before yesterday, my better half "suggested" that I wear one of Mom's stirrup-and-turtleneck outfits and flats to visit her at the nursing home. Couldn't think of a valid reason not to, the weather was certainly cool enough. I generally go along with "suggestions" since it isn't usually worth arguing. So, I just put them on. The staff is used to my girly things, since that's all they've ever seen. But, I enjoyed so many positive comments about my new feminine finery (Mom's gray stirrups and red turtleneck, my black flats and purse, with a lightweight black jacket casually tied around my waist, looking almost like a skirt) that I'll be wearing them often - on my own!
Much to my shock, when Mother saw me, she instantly recognized her stirrups and blouse! At first I thought she might be upset, but then in front of the aide who was sorting her laundry, she said "it's wonderful that you're enjoying my old clothes, and I'm amazed that they fit you perfectly. But you look so nice that, instead of my pants, I'd really love to see you wearing my dresses and skirts - there's so much wear left in them. And, with your long hair and pretty nails, they'd be a natural on you."
"My skirts and blouses would be perfect for you to wear around the house, for shopping, and on vacations. Plus, you and your wife socialize a lot. There are some pretty dresses just waiting for you to wear them out to dinner, and you'll look gorgeous for your friends at your parties and get-togethers. You'll find some benefits to wearing them. They were all expensive, and paid for by your Father, for the many company parties he took me to, over the years. Though I doubt he'd have figured they'd ever fit you, he'd be pleased that you're going to enjoy them. I found them really comfortable, and you're going to look elegant with a pretty hairdo, appropriate foundations and 4" heels like I used to wear. Dresses are lots of fun...since they make it impossible to hide your nylon'ed legs, you'll find many male heads turning your way. As a girl, you'll love the attention. And dresses are great conversation starters for other women. But you'll learn about those benefits of dresses for yourself, once you're wearing them."
Mom's aide smiled knowingly, and reminded me that retro clothes are right in style now. "Her dresses and skirt outfits would not only look lovely on you, sweetie, but enhance your wardrobe nicely, particularly if you wear some cute heels. You really should be wearing things other than just Capri and stirrup pants with flats. Be bold, and look feminine! I can speak for the other gals here...we'd love to see you model one of your mother's dresses every time you visit." (That entire exchange came as a complete surprise to me!)
The reality is that we shouldn't have many of her clothes left...they mostly went to charity. Mother's forgotten that a lot of them dated way back to when she wore a size 6 dress. There's not a chance in the world that any would have fit me. But when I reviewed the events of the day with my better half, and in answer to her questions, admitted that I'd like to give it a try, she volunteered to go through Mom's things in our basement again, this time moving into my closet anything that will fit.
"But before I go to all the effort, I just want you to know: if there are as few as two dresses and/or skirts that fit, I think you'll start wearing them out in public, fully made up like other well-dressed women, when we're out of town. Even before I go down to the basement to look, I plan to donate your remaining few women's dress pants. I won't let you wear them any more - your Mom's stirrup outfits have completely replaced them. Her stirrups fit you very well, you always wear them enthusiastically, and they're very attractive on you. For each of Mom's skirts that I locate, your jeans and shorts will be also be donated, at the rate of 4 for every skirt. Finding you as few as five or six skirts will eliminate all of them. But don't worry...you'll still have plenty of stirrups, Capris and Mom's skirts to wear, as well as lots of room in your closet for the stylish new dresses you'll want to buy."
"With all the changes that soon may be happening in your life, don't think for even one second that I'm going to start wearing dresses. Not a chance - this gal just isn't a girly-girl. I'll be sticking with my jeans or slacks and sneakers, thank you very much!" Then she chuckled: "I never thought I'd become the one who wears the pants in our family - but I believe I'm really going to like the idea. As new head of this household, I'll gain at least part of the "male privilege" you're willingly forfeiting by taking on the female role! How about you? Will you enjoy exploring your new feminine place in society? Are you ready for the pluses - and the minuses - of being recognized as a woman?" My response was "I'm really looking forward to all aspects of it. Living a female lifestyle will require big adjustments, and a lot of effort, on my part. But I want to try it."
"Just a second, sweetie. Remember, this isn't a trial run. Once we've met our friends, with you standing beside me in a dress, heeled sandals, and makeup, with bright red finger and toe nails, there will be no turning back. You'll become a woman, permanently. No way will I embarrass myself, or allow you to confuse anyone, by switching back and forth between genders. Our friends will mostly accept you as female, as will the general public, who doesn't know you. And since I'm with the program, you should have no problems living as a woman for the rest of your life."
"In fact, since you're retired, once you assume your new role as a woman, we'll get you involved doing women's community volunteer work for a couple of agencies. They'll keep you busy each weekday! You'll work in dresses or skirts and heels daily, with stirrups or Capri pants on casual Fridays, to establish yourself locally as a civic-minded woman, and build friendships with your female co-workers. You know, do lunches and gossip with the girls, go to hen parties and girls' nights out, etc. Start to have some real fun!"
"Here at home, we'll be sharing some of the "woman's work". Since we're responsible for doing your mother's laundry from the nursing home, you can do all our laundry, as well as her. It's 6 or 7 full loads of wash a week, dried, folded, and put away, with about 3 hours of ironing, and some occasional mending. Each load takes about 90 minutes from start to finish, so doing a load a day after work will keep you current. I'll show you how to do it, and I'll continue to do everything else. That's only fair, right?"
"Plus, I want you to get used to a new womens' style - flirty little mini-skirts over your stirrups, leggings and Capris. I'll buy you some stylish - and very short - mini's, to get you started. Since they're over your Capris, your modesty is protected, but they're adorably girly outfits, which you'll look cute in, and they're totally acceptable anywhere, so you can wear them every time you wear pants if you wish."
"It's fine with me if you continue to maintain and enjoy your antique car, your flea marketing and other hobbies.. It's just that you'll be doing everything as a female, wearing dresses or skirts every day, and mini-skirts over your Capris. Plus, don't forget you'll be responsible for keeping the laundry current." I chuckled as I told her "The laundry can be done of an evening. And wearing dresses at car shows and flea markets isn't a disadvantage at all...I'm often seen as female. Several times the guys have ushered me by the arm out of the men's room line, and put me in line with the girls - who welcomed me! I'll be much more comfortable at summer events in cool, floaty sundresses and rubber flip flops, like other women. I'll fit right in, so bring it on!"
"Mother's stirrup outfits and stirrup leggings are all safe from disposal - permanently - since she likes to see you wear them, and they make your legs look fabulous. In fact, her stirrups, worn with cute skimmers or ballet flats, tucked-in V-neck white fitted sleeveless blouses over amply-padded A-cup foundations and pantyhose, fitted ladies' sport jackets, long silver-painted acrylic fingernails and a handbag or purse, will be the most masculine attire you'll ever own. You'll be seen as a very feminine male whenever ID is required, like the voting booth, DMV, and passport renewal."
"Capri pants and pedal pushers are cute, and also permanently safe from disposal. Yes, they're pants, but they seriously enhance your feminine look and you should have lots of fun wearing them under mini-skirts. The rest of your stirrups are safe for now...till you acquire enough new dresses that you can wear a different one every day for two weeks."
From my own standpoint, in retrospect I never dreamed that I'd end up in Mother's hand-me-downs, and with her total encouragement, no less! Yet, here I am, wearing those very same stirrups and tops that she wore to visit us years ago, as well as to travel and run her daily errands with Dad. HER old stirrup outfits have become an important part of MY everyday wardrobe, that I now wear to visit her in the nursing home. And I might soon be wearing her dresses.
This has take ages to actually occur, but my wish to wear Mother's stirrups outfits has finally come true. And there's a good possibility that I'll end up taking this much farther than I had planned, with the better half's blessing. So, it's a good thing my male given name has become one for females. I won't have to change ID's! Moral of story: be careful what you wish for - it might just happen.
Today (October 2) was bloodwork day at the Doctor's office.
I chose to wear Mom's stirrups outfit again, but this time, with flats... I wanted to see what the effect would be. And as soon as I arrived at the Doctor's office, they addressed me as Ms. Sherman. Not just once, but every single time they spoke to me...by the entire staff.
Whether they truly thought I was female, or were just being politically correct with a transgender patient, I'll never know...but I was in heaven! I prefer to think the former, because the phlebotomist (sp?) complimented my outfit and asked about my purse...she wants to buy one like it. Since my records indicate my born gender, it probably was the latter. But it made my day, week, and is well on the way to making my year!
Well, I told the better half to go ahead and look through the basement for anything of Mother's that will fit me, knowing full well that if there are any, I'm likely to end up a full-time girl. And that really can't be too bad...half the world's population is female!
On Oct. 4th, a pair each, of T-strap women's driving shoes and ballerina flats showed up in UPS today. The box had my name on it, and both pairs were my size. I didn't order them...guess who did? I've been asked to wear them around the house tonight and through the weekend, to make sure "your new shoes fit, since you're going to be spending quite a bit of time in them." And as of Sunday morning the 7th, they really do fit fairly well... I told her that, so today I wore the driving shoes to visit Mother, and tomorrow I've been told to start wearing them, or my new skimmers, every day. "Since you're going to be a girl soon, you'll have to get used to sporting girly shoes every day!"
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