Recently, my wife and I were seated at a diner about 150 miles from home, and the thirty-something female server with VERY short (translation: not feminine at all) hair said “Hi girls…what can I get you to drink?” We both asked for “just water, please.” And with that, she took off to get it for us. I made no attempt to soften my voice, and I was wearing androgynous women’s shorts, flats, and polo top. She may have seen my purse and nails when I walked in…but I’ll never know.
Then came the absolutely amazing part.
When she returned with our drinks, she apologized profusely
for mis-gendering me, and said she simply assumed I was a girl because of “your
beautiful long hair. And I get mistaken
for a boy all the time, so I know how that feels. Once again, I’m so sorry!” My wife remained silent (though I didn’t
notice her blushing or anything like that.)
But I thanked the server for her compliment about my hair, and accepted
her apology (though I wasn’t at all offended…LOL!) She treated us very well the rest of our
meal, arranged for an extra big helping of dessert, and we left a nice
tip.
Usually once I’m accepted as a girl, most folks continue
that acceptance, even once the revelation strikes them that I’m not what I seem
to be. So this was very unusual…and my
wife was also surprised. (But after it
happened, she didn’t mention it again.
Nothing else was said.)
On to the next topic:
During a recent trip through PA, we managed to become
prosperous! As long as that condition can be
achieved by visiting Prosperity…a tiny Pennsylvania “burg” by that name. Not a big town by any means (and it’s halfway
between nowhere and nowhere else), but there is still an open post office, and
some of the homes are old but very pretty.
A picture of the post office is below:
Legend has it that the name came
from the enthusiasm of the original settlers, who were anxious to do well in
the future. So they named their town
“Prosperity.” Can’t say that their
plan worked, but the place was far from decrepit, as so many rural communities
are.
I guess it all depends on your
interpretation of “prosperity.”
More later…
Mandy
That was a very interesting exchange you had with the server. I suppose that because she was often misgendered as a guy and it may have bugged her she went out of her way to make sure she set the record right with you...although it seems that both you and your wife are generally OK with whatever pronoun a stranger uses to address you.
ReplyDeleteAs you say, I'm fine with Ma'am or "no gender-specific" greetings. If I'm out with my wife, I tolerate "Sir" because she prefers that. However I'd really prefer one of the other two choices.
DeleteAnd then there are the folks who just get their kicks using "Sir" all the time. I ignore them.
I suspect many of us have the same thoughts...
Mandy
Hi Mandy, I've been catching up with your blog. It's always good to hear that most people treat you as a woman on your travels, even if you're not presenting as Mandy. Looking forward to more of your interesting journeys. Sue x
ReplyDeleteThanks! I hope to have more posts one of these days...things have been very busy. And I don't get out as much as I'd like.
DeleteHugs,
Mandy
Sue, please email me at your convenience at amandanicolesherman (I'll finish this address in another reply, for obvious reasons.)
DeleteThanks!
(At sign)yahoo.com
DeleteThanks!