Things have been very quiet lately, and Mandy hasn't been out of the suitcase since January. However, that doesn't stop my daily life in androgynous outfits. My wife ordered two blouses on line, for delivery to the department store in a nearby town. And on one of my visits to the nursing home, she asked me to pick up her purchase.
The last time she asked me to pick up a package for her, she had listed my real name (and husband status) as an authorized party to pick up. This time, she didn't, because she had planned to pick it up. But she gave me a copy of the email announcement that it was ready, and said she hoped they didn't ask for ID. I reminded her that they hadn't the last time, and simply thought I was her. I predicted that it would go well again.
When I got there (wearing stirrup pants, pantyhose, flats, turtleneck tunic and a sweater, with necklace and a bracelet), I handed the email to a 20something clerk, and said (in a softer voice) that I'd like to pick up my order, She went in the back and got the package. She asked me if I wanted a bag, which I did. Then as she put the package in the bag, she told me that she owns both blouses herself. "You'll love them, they work well with your skirts as well as capris and shorts, and the colors will be perfect on you, (insert wife's given name here). But if they don't fit, remember you can always exchange them for the proper size." As I departed, she said "Thanks for shopping with us (insert wife's given name here.)"
Wow...but wait, there's more!
A few minutes later, after a short drive and while standing in the checkout line at the pharmacy (in the same town as Mom's nursing home), a 30-something woman and her approximately10 year old daughter (apparently a Downs syndrome baby) were there. I thought I recognized them from seeing her at the nursing home a couple of times, but didn't give the subject another thought.
She looked up, smiled, and said "Hi, I'm ________'s mother!" She apparently recognized me - but believed it was from seeing me at an exercise facility elsewhere in town. I said that I remembered her from seeing them at the nursing home, and we chatted for a moment.
Then the little girl started to cuddle up to me, which I assured the mom "was not a problem," but her mom corrected her ("you don't cuddle up to other ladies, honey" ) despite additional assurances that I understood. After being corrected, she then got shy and hid behind her mom...but as they departed her daughter turned around and gave me the cutest little wave and smile. I hope I run into them again sometime...
After hearing our discussion, the clerk addressed me as "Ma'am" while she rang up my order...and thanked me for shopping there by using my wife's first name on the store card.
When I told my wife about my experiences, she said she really wasn't surprised, since "that happens quite often nowadays." So I reminded her that she can "pass" as me (remember my given name is now female), it only makes sense for me to be able to "pass" as her. And we both laughed as we concurrently said something to the effect of "as long as they don't ask for our ID!"
It was an unexpected - and very good - day!
You are fortunate to have such an understanding wife! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's her "favoritest thing." But I'm thankful for every positive step...
DeleteWow indeed, Mandy, but then I'm getting less surprised by how well you pass as female even in your androgynous mode. Hope you'll always have these positive experiences. Sue x
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. But reality steps in, and I know that not all encounters will be that perfect. Just don't know where, or when, they will happen...
DeleteMandy
It seems like you fit in well with your presentation and that your wife is coming around to the reality that this is the wonderful person she has shared her life with and that you are the same wonderful person regardless of how you are dressed or what gender folks in public assign to you.
ReplyDeleteYesterday was a cooking day where we made a soup and a turkey meat loaf. I did the pre dressed in a lightweight summer floral dress with my nude peep toe pumps. My wife commented that she was glad that I did the chopping and dicing, as is my typical contribution but even happier that I did the messy work of molding the ground turkey, complete with the other ingredients into a meat loaf.
Today I had office work to do so I donned office secretary attire with a red skirt suit red and white blouse, white pantyhose and my black peep toe pumps. The chopping today was ham and cauliflour along with onion, celery and carrots. I am getting faster and faster with applying my makeup and she seems comfortable with me fully dressed as long as the shades are drawn.
Two days in peep toes have been fun since in the next week or two I will need to take the coral pearl polish off my toes until after the summer season.
Pat
It seems that way...time will tell.
DeleteSounds like you are making progress at home...as long as the shades are down! The tough part (in public) is yet to come, however...
You are so lucky to have peep-toes that fit. I'm unable to find any!
As for toe nail polish...sorry you have to remove it. But it is what it is.
I'm having issues with one toe nail that I bruised a while back...it turned black. I have switched to polish on my toes instead of the gel or acrylic (easier to remove when pedicure time comes.)
My wife seems fine with the light pink polish my tech has given me for the last two pedicures. And I hope she'll tell me to put my shoes away for the summer and just stick with sandals (even with my polished nails), at least till the one nail either clears up or falls off (and if the latter, I already know it's "no sandals at all.") She agrees the polish looks nicer than having one obviously black nail.
Maybe it will result in my wearing polished nails all the time from now on? Hope springs eternal...
Mandy
I'm feeling happy for you, Mandy!
ReplyDeleteThanks, hon!
Delete