Finally time for a quickie, after the many stressful issues I've been facing at home since returning from my July excursion (not related to my attire.) I guess you could say that much of what follows constitutes:
Last Saturday, my female friend (the staffer at the nursing home) and I ran into each other in the parking lot...I was leaving and she was arriving. She stopped me to chat a bit, and I felt I was being accepted as a woman, even though I wasn't wearing makeup or a dress! She commented on lack of makeup, and I pointed out that I had to get going early to get a pedicure...so she checked out my feet (I was in sandals) and loved it...even though it was just silver color. Then she noticed the fresh fill on my pink-and-white acrylic fingernails. She said that on Monday, she hopes she'll see me in a nice, comfortable outfit of sandals, capri pants, a sleeveless top, AND be wearing makeup, including lipstick.
The silver lining which exists inside every cloud. I keep reminding myself of that...especially during cloudbursts!
Last Saturday, my female friend (the staffer at the nursing home) and I ran into each other in the parking lot...I was leaving and she was arriving. She stopped me to chat a bit, and I felt I was being accepted as a woman, even though I wasn't wearing makeup or a dress! She commented on lack of makeup, and I pointed out that I had to get going early to get a pedicure...so she checked out my feet (I was in sandals) and loved it...even though it was just silver color. Then she noticed the fresh fill on my pink-and-white acrylic fingernails. She said that on Monday, she hopes she'll see me in a nice, comfortable outfit of sandals, capri pants, a sleeveless top, AND be wearing makeup, including lipstick.
I didn't disappoint her...that IS a comfortable way to dress!
Thursday (dressed as above once again), upon hearing that Mother is able to be moved to a room in a different wing at the nursing home, I went to look at it. It looks OK to me, but whether she will like it or not is another issue. Knowing her, probably not...
And on Friday, she didn't. For many various reasons, some valid, some rational, most not. In response, they will soon have a room available on her wing, so they will ultimately relocate her there. That will eliminate the trauma of getting used to new attendants and nurses (something a 90 year old with cognitive issues and memory problems doesn't really need.)
In the process of Friday's business, I ran into a 60-ish lady resident I recognize, who I've briefly spoken with in the hall, and who lives in the unit they "were" going to move Mother to.. She addressed me by first name, which was a complete surprise...I hadn't been introduced to her before. Guess folks are aware of me...that can be good - or bad! (In any event, recall that my given name is one mostly used by girls nowadays.) Seems this resident is a very nice lady.
After talking about various issues for a couple of minutes, she asked me in a matter-of-fact manner "are you a boy or a girl?' After a short reaction time, where several possible responses flitted around in my mind, I answered simply "A boy, with long hair and acrylic nails" She didn't show any surprise, or disappointment. And with that info, we went on to talk as before, for another couple of minutes. I wonder how long she has been waiting for an opportunity to learn that bit of info?
I debated asking "Which would you like me to be?" or "I answer to both,' or adding "who looks like a girl" to my description, but thought better of it. Mother still refers to me as her son, regardless of how girly I look, and staff knows my true gender. However, it was an interesting question, and an straightforward "presentation" of it. We'll see if it leads many of the residents to change their way of addressing me (most often, it's as a female.)
Now today (Saturday) I was exploring the hall in the vicinity of the upcoming room at the nursing home, wearing shorts over pantyhose, flats and a feminine polo tunic, while carrying my purse. One of the elderly female residents in a wheelchair (not one I have spoken with previously) motioned for me to come over to the gathering area where she was sitting. "Honey, I've been trying to get the courage to ask you for a while, so I'm finally going to just do it. You have such beautiful legs, so nice and smooth looking! And your nails...perfect1" "Wow, thank you very much, Ma'am. I'm glad you think so!" Her response: "Do you shave your legs?" "Yes, Ma'am, they need it." "I just wish my legs looked half that nice...if they did, I'd wear skirts every day." I said "But you look very pretty just the way you are, Ma'am!" Her reply: "Thank you, honey. But so few girls wear skirts here, that one of these days, I hope YOU will wear one, just for US old folks." "Wow, I appreciate your encouragement, Ma'am...I normally don't wear them. But we'll see!" Then the nurse I needed to speak with appeared, and the conversation ended, of necessity.
I wonder if they'll be having a Halloween party??
Thursday (dressed as above once again), upon hearing that Mother is able to be moved to a room in a different wing at the nursing home, I went to look at it. It looks OK to me, but whether she will like it or not is another issue. Knowing her, probably not...
And on Friday, she didn't. For many various reasons, some valid, some rational, most not. In response, they will soon have a room available on her wing, so they will ultimately relocate her there. That will eliminate the trauma of getting used to new attendants and nurses (something a 90 year old with cognitive issues and memory problems doesn't really need.)
In the process of Friday's business, I ran into a 60-ish lady resident I recognize, who I've briefly spoken with in the hall, and who lives in the unit they "were" going to move Mother to.. She addressed me by first name, which was a complete surprise...I hadn't been introduced to her before. Guess folks are aware of me...that can be good - or bad! (In any event, recall that my given name is one mostly used by girls nowadays.) Seems this resident is a very nice lady.
After talking about various issues for a couple of minutes, she asked me in a matter-of-fact manner "are you a boy or a girl?' After a short reaction time, where several possible responses flitted around in my mind, I answered simply "A boy, with long hair and acrylic nails" She didn't show any surprise, or disappointment. And with that info, we went on to talk as before, for another couple of minutes. I wonder how long she has been waiting for an opportunity to learn that bit of info?
I debated asking "Which would you like me to be?" or "I answer to both,' or adding "who looks like a girl" to my description, but thought better of it. Mother still refers to me as her son, regardless of how girly I look, and staff knows my true gender. However, it was an interesting question, and an straightforward "presentation" of it. We'll see if it leads many of the residents to change their way of addressing me (most often, it's as a female.)
Now today (Saturday) I was exploring the hall in the vicinity of the upcoming room at the nursing home, wearing shorts over pantyhose, flats and a feminine polo tunic, while carrying my purse. One of the elderly female residents in a wheelchair (not one I have spoken with previously) motioned for me to come over to the gathering area where she was sitting. "Honey, I've been trying to get the courage to ask you for a while, so I'm finally going to just do it. You have such beautiful legs, so nice and smooth looking! And your nails...perfect1" "Wow, thank you very much, Ma'am. I'm glad you think so!" Her response: "Do you shave your legs?" "Yes, Ma'am, they need it." "I just wish my legs looked half that nice...if they did, I'd wear skirts every day." I said "But you look very pretty just the way you are, Ma'am!" Her reply: "Thank you, honey. But so few girls wear skirts here, that one of these days, I hope YOU will wear one, just for US old folks." "Wow, I appreciate your encouragement, Ma'am...I normally don't wear them. But we'll see!" Then the nurse I needed to speak with appeared, and the conversation ended, of necessity.
I wonder if they'll be having a Halloween party??
It surely seems that in the context of the women at the home where you mother lives that there is an appreciation of things that relate to traditional woman. It would seem that the women there would be more than happy to see you fully dressed and that they would appreciate that you understood the attributes of being a woman. I think that this is a good place to push the envelop of your dressing.
ReplyDeletePat
You may well be correct...it's something I will be considering over the next few weeks! If they will be having a Halloween party for the residents and families, it would be a great place to try it. Will keep you advised!
DeleteMandy